Category: EMOTIONAL ABUSE

Secondary Gain: When Suffering Can Serve a Hidden Purpose

There is a concept in psychology called secondary gain. It is often misunderstood. The term does not necessarily mean that someone is pretending to be ill, exaggerating their suffering or consciously choosing to remain unwell. Instead, secondary gain describes the unintended psychological, emotional, interpersonal or practical benefits that can sometimes become attached to a problem, symptom or behaviour. And… Read More Secondary Gain: When Suffering Can Serve a Hidden Purpose

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Ambiguous Deprivation: The Abuse You Cannot Always Prove

The content discusses “ambiguous deprivation,” a concept describing subtle, often unnoticed emotional abuse where freedom, affection, and autonomy are gradually eroded without clear evidence. Survivors may struggle to recognize their experiences and are encouraged to reflect on lost confidence and identity. Healing involves reclaiming one’s voice and inherent freedom.… Read More Ambiguous Deprivation: The Abuse You Cannot Always Prove

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Ambiguous Deprivation: When You Lose Something Before You Can Grieve It

Ambiguous deprivation represents a challenging form of loss, lacking clear beginnings or endings, where important elements gradually disappear. This emotional turmoil complicates healing as the brain struggles to adapt to unpredictability. Recovery begins when predictability returns and individuals regain autonomy, choice, and emotional safety, allowing for a clearer understanding of their experiences.… Read More Ambiguous Deprivation: When You Lose Something Before You Can Grieve It

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Privacy Is Not Secrecy

Privacy and secrecy differ significantly in relationships. Privacy allows individuals to maintain personal boundaries, fostering trust, while secrecy may conceal crucial truths that affect informed choices. Healthy relationships thrive on integrity and honesty, not on the manipulation of information. You deserve the right to know relevant past details to make informed decisions.… Read More Privacy Is Not Secrecy

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They May Not Discover the Truth Until They Are Already Living It

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

The text discusses the complex dynamics of hidden abuse within relationships, emphasizing that partners may conceal their abusive pasts through minimization, blame, and family reinforcement. Recognizing abusive patterns is crucial for new partners, as these hidden histories can emerge over time, often leaving victims feeling trapped and deceived.… Read More They May Not Discover the Truth Until They Are Already Living It

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When the Past Has Been Hidden: The Next Partner May Not Know

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

Hidden abusive histories can mislead new partners, who may unknowingly enter relationships with individuals exhibiting harmful patterns. Families often perpetuate this concealment, shielding abusers from accountability. Genuine change requires acknowledgment of past behavior and the demonstration of consistent positive actions. Honesty is crucial for informed decision-making in future relationships.… Read More When the Past Has Been Hidden: The Next Partner May Not Know

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The Next Victim: When Abusive Behaviour Follows the Person

“He’ll be different with someone else.” It is something survivors are sometimes told. Perhaps the relationship has ended. Perhaps he has moved on. Perhaps there is already another woman in his life. And you may find yourself wondering: Will he treat her better? Was I the problem? Why couldn’t he behave like that with me?… Read More The Next Victim: When Abusive Behaviour Follows the Person

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When They Don’t Leave: Finding Peace When Someone You Left Stays Nearby

Sometimes the thing you least expect after leaving is discovering that the person you left hasn’t gone anywhere. You may have imagined that once the relationship ended, they would move away. Perhaps they had talked about leaving for years. Perhaps family members told you that they would move to another country. Perhaps they repeatedly said… Read More When They Don’t Leave: Finding Peace When Someone You Left Stays Nearby

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