When You Don’t See What Others See: The Neuroscience of Self-Perception, Trauma and Being Seen

Have you ever been told something about yourself repeatedly, yet somehow never really seen it yourself? Perhaps friends have said: “When you walk into a room, people notice you.” “Men are always looking at you.” “You don’t realise how attractive you are.” You may have dismissed it, laughed it off or simply not understood what… Read More When You Don’t See What Others See: The Neuroscience of Self-Perception, Trauma and Being Seen

When Trauma Lives in the Body: The Neuroscience of Prolonged Stress and Illness

Trauma is not only something you remember. Sometimes, it is something your body continues to respond to. When people talk about trauma, they often focus on the psychological consequences: Anxiety.Fear.Flashbacks.Nightmares.Hypervigilance.Emotional numbness.Depression.Anhedonia. But prolonged trauma can affect far more than how we think and feel. The brain, nervous system, endocrine system, immune system and cardiovascular system… Read More When Trauma Lives in the Body: The Neuroscience of Prolonged Stress and Illness

Karma, Consequences and the Neuroscience of Human Behaviour

“The pain you give someone else—the lies, betrayal, manipulation and disrespect—never truly disappears. Whether you call it karma or consequences, our actions have a remarkable way of finding their way back to us.” For thousands of years, cultures around the world have embraced the concept of karma: the belief that the energy we put into… Read More Karma, Consequences and the Neuroscience of Human Behaviour

The Neuroscience and Psychology of Sadistic Behaviour: Why Cruelty Can Become Addictive

One of the most difficult questions survivors ask is: “How could someone enjoy causing another person so much pain?” For those who have never experienced coercive control, emotional abuse, or psychological manipulation, the idea that another human being could derive satisfaction from another person’s suffering seems incomprehensible. Yet psychology and neuroscience provide important insights into… Read More The Neuroscience and Psychology of Sadistic Behaviour: Why Cruelty Can Become Addictive

Why Do Some People Ignore a Cry for Help? The Psychology and Neuroscience Behind It

One of the most painful experiences a person can have is finding the courage to ask for help… only to be ignored. The silence can be deafening. For the person reaching out, it can feel like confirmation that they don’t matter. For the person who ignores them, however, the reasons are often far more psychologically… Read More Why Do Some People Ignore a Cry for Help? The Psychology and Neuroscience Behind It

Freedom Feels Different: The Neuroscience of Living Without Control

This year, I’ve been to every local fiesta, celebration, concert, and community event in my town. For the first time in many years, I stayed until I wanted to leave. I laughed without looking over my shoulder. I joined in without worrying about being criticised. I enjoyed the music, the atmosphere, and the company without… Read More Freedom Feels Different: The Neuroscience of Living Without Control

“You Look Different”: The Neuroscience of Finally Feeling Safe

One of the most unexpected parts of healing has not been what I see in myself, but what other people see in me. Recently, friends, family, and even people I haven’t seen for a while have been making similar comments. “You look so much more relaxed.” “You seem more confident.” “You’re glowing.” “You smile so… Read More “You Look Different”: The Neuroscience of Finally Feeling Safe

“He Never Wanted Me to Be Happy”: The Psychology and Neuroscience Behind This Behaviour

During a conversation this morning, someone said something that resonated deeply with me: “He never wanted you to be happy. He was so miserable with his own life and himself long before he met you that he was determined to destroy any happiness you experienced.” Whether or not we can ever know another person’s true… Read More “He Never Wanted Me to Be Happy”: The Psychology and Neuroscience Behind This Behaviour

Why Having Abuse Recognised Matters: The Psychology and Neuroscience of Acknowledgement

For many survivors, divorce is one chapter. A financial settlement is another. Neither of those processes necessarily addresses what happened behind closed doors. Legal matters determine how assets are divided, where people live, and how finances are resolved. They do not automatically acknowledge years of coercive control, emotional abuse, psychological manipulation, intimidation, or violence. For many… Read More Why Having Abuse Recognised Matters: The Psychology and Neuroscience of Acknowledgement