Constantly checking someone’s social media, WhatsApp, phone calls, emails, location and movements can become a pattern of coercive control and surveillance. Psychology and neuroscience help explain why someone may do it, but they do not excuse it. What can be happening psychologically? 1. Fear of losing control For some controlling people, uncertainty is extremely uncomfortable.… Read More Control and surveillance
If you believe you can keep a relationship safe by controlling your partner, controlling the money, restricting their choices or making them financially dependent on you, you haven’t created security. You’ve created control. A healthy relationship isn’t held together by fear of financial consequences. It isn’t protected by making sure your partner has nowhere to… Read More Keeping Your Relationship Safe Through Control and Money? Really?
There is an old saying: “What goes around comes around.” Some people call it karma. Others call it consequences. Some simply say, “It will come back to bite you.” Whatever you call it, there is something about life that makes dishonesty, betrayal and cruelty difficult to outrun forever. Not necessarily because some mysterious force is… Read More What You Put Into the World Has a Habit of Finding Its Way Back
There is something deeply unsettling about discovering that the person you trusted was not the person you believed them to be. Perhaps they went to church. Perhaps they prayed. Perhaps they spoke about God, morality, marriage and forgiveness. Perhaps other people saw them as a good, respectable, religious person. And perhaps you believed that too.… Read More When Religion Becomes a Cover for Betrayal
Just because someone believes in God doesn’t mean they won’t cheat. It doesn’t mean they will automatically be faithful, honest, kind or trustworthy. People can go to church, pray, quote scripture, talk about morality and still lie to their partner. They can present themselves as deeply religious while secretly having affairs. They can talk about… Read More Believing in God Doesn’t Make Someone Incapable of Cheating
Some people hide behind religion while supporting behaviour that has nothing to do with compassion, honesty, kindness or integrity. They speak about morality, yet excuse abuse. They talk about forgiveness, yet expect victims to tolerate mistreatment. They preach about marriage and commitment, yet encourage or excuse adultery when it suits them. They quote scripture when… Read More When Religion Becomes a Shield for Hypocrisy
Age-gap relationships are becoming more common off-screen, too For decades, Hollywood had a very clear idea of what an age-gap relationship was supposed to look like. The man was older. The woman was younger. And nobody seemed particularly surprised. Older male actors could continue playing romantic leads well into their 60s, 70s and beyond, often… Read More Hollywood’s Latest Obsession: Older Women and Younger Men
My first marriage began with very little. We started from nothing and built our life together. And that distinction matters. There is something incredibly satisfying about building a life with someone when you both start with very little. You work, you save, you make decisions together and, slowly, you create something that belongs to both… Read More When Luxury Becomes Something You Are Taught to Feel Guilty For
For a long time, I wondered where all my contributions had gone. Not just the money. My work.My energy.My sacrifices.My time.My ideas.My emotional labour.My contribution to the household and the life we had built together. I was not raised in poverty, and I was certainly not raised to believe that deprivation was a virtue. I… Read More Where Did My Contributions Go?
My home may be small, but it is beautifully formed. Every room has its own little view, its own feeling, and its own beauty. After everything I’ve been through, I don’t take any of this for granted. I wake up grateful for the home I have created, the location, the views, the peace, and the… Read More So many beautiful views from almost every room… how lucky I am. ❤️
Linda C J Turner | Trauma Therapist & Emotional Healing Specialist 