One of the simplest ways to get ahead in life is to become the person people are glad to deal with. Not because you say yes to everything. Not because you allow people to walk all over you. And certainly not because you abandon your boundaries. Being easy to deal with means being pleasant, respectful, reasonable and… Read More Be Easy to Deal With
For years, whenever I went on holiday or out socially, I found myself watching other couples. Not in a judgemental way. I was fascinated. I noticed the softness in their faces when they looked at each other. The laughter. The casual touching. A hand resting gently on an arm. A kiss as they passed each… Read More When Affection Once Looked Alien
Trait/disorder What is seen in some offenders Antisocial traits / ASPD More common among some sexual offenders, particularly those with broader criminal and aggressive behaviour Narcissistic traits Entitlement, need for admiration, lack of empathy and exploitation can occur, but narcissism alone does not predict child sexual abuse Psychopathic traits Particularly relevant to offenders who are manipulative, callous,… Read More What is seen in some offenders
Nothing would surprise me anymore. And perhaps that is one of the hardest lessons life can teach you. We like to believe that the terrible things we hear about happen somewhere else. To other families. To other children. To people we don’t know. We tell ourselves: “That would never happen in our family.” But that sentence… Read More Never Believe It Couldn’t Happen in Your Family
We like to believe that predators are strangers. Someone lurking in a dark alley. Someone we would immediately recognise as dangerous. Someone who “looks like a predator.” But the uncomfortable truth is that people who pose a risk to children do not always look frightening. Sometimes they are familiar. Sometimes they are charming. Sometimes they… Read More The Predators Among Us
Sometimes you don’t need someone to shout. You don’t need someone to threaten you. You don’t even need them to be in the same room. Sometimes the knowledge that they are there is enough. That is the power of intimidation. And after experiencing abuse, one of the greatest reliefs can be discovering what life feels like… Read More Intimidation: An Abuser’s Favourite Weapon
There comes a point in life when you finally stop negotiating with nonsense. I’ve reached mine. I am no longer putting up with bad behaviour, empty promises, abuse of any kind, meanness, misery or miserly behaviour. And before anyone gets worried, no — I haven’t suddenly become difficult. I’ve simply become awake. I Don’t Want a Project… Read More I’d Rather Be Alone Than Compromise
Once upon a time, I was an excellent candidate for the “Give Him Another Chance” Olympics. I could explain away almost anything. “He’s just tired.” “He’s had a difficult past.” “Maybe I misunderstood.” “He probably didn’t mean it like that.” “He says he cares, so perhaps I should focus on his words.” Oh, how wonderfully accommodating… Read More Three Strikes and You’re Out: My New Dating Philosophy
At this stage of my life, I know something very clearly. I know what I don’t want. I don’t want another man who tells me flowers should be left in the garden. I want flowers because I love them. I want someone who understands that sometimes a bunch of flowers isn’t about practicality—it’s about thoughtfulness.… Read More I Know What I Don’t Want
When you meet someone for the first time, pay attention to what they do, not just what they say. First impressions aren’t about making an instant judgement or deciding that one small behaviour tells you everything about a person’s character. They are about observing. How do they treat you? Do they make an effort? Do they listen… Read More First Impressions Count: Observe Behaviour
