There is a moment in healing that doesn’t come from books, or theory, or even understanding. It comes from being seen. Recently, someone said to me:“Despite his best attempts, he hasn’t managed to kill your soul.” And another:“You still have a large, soft heart… you’re still open to love.” After everything I had been through,… Read More They Didn’t Kill My Soul — And That Is the Real Victory
This collection of lectures and essays by Alfred Adler brings together one of his most important ideas: That the desire for superiority must be balanced by social interest. Adler did not believe that striving to improve oneself was wrong. In fact, he saw it as a natural and necessary part of being human. We all want… Read More Superiority and Social Interest (Posthumous, 1964)
This series explores human behaviour, relationships, and emotional resilience through the work of Alfred Adler—one of the first psychologists to focus not just on what is “wrong” with people, but on how they can grow, connect, and find meaning. Each piece stands alone, but together they tell a deeper story: 1. The Neurotic Constitution —… Read More Understanding Human Behaviour: An Adlerian Series
In 1912, Alfred Adler published The Neurotic Constitution, introducing a powerful idea: That many unhealthy behaviours are not random—but rooted in a deep sense of inferiority. Adler believed that when a person feels fundamentally “less than”—not good enough, not important enough, not secure enough—they don’t simply sit with that feeling. Instead, they try to compensate… Read More From Inferiority to Control: What Adler Can Teach Us About Harmful Relationship Dynamics
Kindness costs nothing. No money.No status.No special privilege. And yet, for some people, it seems to be the hardest thing in the world to offer. That truth can be difficult to understand—especially if you are someone who gives kindness naturally. If you are someone who considers others, who chooses your words carefully, who would rather… Read More Kindness Costs Nothing — Yet Some People Still Refuse to Give It
Recently, someone said something to me that stopped me in my tracks: “Despite his best attempts, he hasn’t managed to kill your soul.” Another person told me, “You still have a large, soft heart… you’re still open to love.” To most people, these might sound like simple observations.To me, they felt like music. Because after everything… Read More They Didn’t Kill My Soul
In a world full of noise, distraction, and performance, there is something grounding about returning to what is real. Real illness.Real struggle.Real strength. When you’ve seen genuine suffering up close—friends or family navigating illness that changes their daily lives—it shifts your perspective in a way nothing else quite can. The small irritations lose their weight.… Read More Focus on What’s Real
There are days when your thoughts turn, almost instinctively, to the people in your life who are facing genuine illness. Not the kind that can be brushed aside or exaggerated for effect—but the kind that reshapes daily life, demands resilience, and asks more of a person than most of us will ever fully understand. Real… Read More When Illness Is Real: A Quiet Reflection on Strength, Perspective, and Compassion
Psychologists sometimes refer to a subtle but deeply impactful experience as ambiguous deprivation.It’s not about something dramatic that happened to you.It’s about what didn’t. It’s the quiet absence of what should have been there: Affection that was never freely given Safety that was never consistently modeled Freedom that was quietly restricted Emotional support that never quite arrived… Read More Ambiguous Deprivation: The Invisible Loss That Shapes Us
Being told you are medically clear and then continuing to present yourself as seriously unwell is not just a personal issue. When it’s used to avoid responsibility, delay obligations, or justify harmful behaviour, it becomes something else entirely. There is a clear line between: genuine illness health anxiety and the repeated use of illness as… Read More “At some point, this stops being about health—and becomes about accountability.”
