Trauma refers to an emotional or psychological response to an event or series of events that are distressing or disturbing, often exceeding an individual’s ability to cope. Traumatic experiences can be diverse and may include situations such as accidents, natural disasters, physical or sexual assault, combat, or the sudden loss of a loved one. Trauma can have a profound impact on an individual’s mental, emotional, and physical well-being, leading to a range of symptoms and challenges.
One of the most important lessons to learn during and after trauma is that you cannot pour from an empty cup. When life has been turned upside down, your wellbeing must become a priority, not an afterthought. Think of the safety instructions on an aeroplane: “Put your own oxygen mask on first before assisting others.” This advice is… Read More Looking After Yourself During and After Trauma
In emotional abuse, there is no single “pain threshold” that applies to everyone. People respond differently depending on their personality, resilience, support network, life experiences, age, mental health, and the nature of the abuse itself. What one person can withstand for years may overwhelm another much sooner. That does not mean one person is stronger… Read More Breaking Point
As therapists, much of our work focuses on helping people heal from pain. We support survivors of abuse, betrayal, neglect, and trauma as they learn to rebuild their lives and move forward. While this work is challenging, there is often a willingness on the part of the client to understand their experiences and seek change.… Read More When the Person Inflicting Pain Is Someone You Love
You could write this as a powerful reflection while keeping the focus on safety and awareness: I have been told in no uncertain terms that now is the time to be vigilant. The professionals who deal with these situations every day understand something that many victims do not realise until much later: the period when… Read More The most dangerous time
While sorting through old documents, I also came across something else from that period—recordings of the conversations that took place that night. After being locked out of my own home, I went back inside expecting the worst. Something told me that I needed to record what happened, not out of revenge, but to ensure there… Read More Phone recordings
Abuse rarely exists in isolation. It thrives in secrecy, denial, and the unspoken rules that keep families trapped in harmful patterns. Across generations, the effects of abuse can ripple through families, shaping relationships, influencing behaviours, and leaving emotional wounds that may persist for decades. Many families carry painful histories that are never openly discussed. Children… Read More Breaking the Cycle: Confronting Abuse, Ending Silence, and Creating a Better Future
One of the most difficult emotions for survivors of childhood abuse to talk about is the desire to see an abusive parent suffer. Society expects children to love, forgive, and honour their parents, no matter what happened behind closed doors. As a result, many adult survivors carry feelings of anger, resentment, and even thoughts of… Read More When the Wounded Child Wants the Parent to Suffer
Understanding the Overlap Between Intimate Partner Violence and Harm to Children Domestic abuse and child abuse are often discussed as separate issues. In reality, they frequently exist within the same household and can be driven by the same underlying patterns of coercion, control, and entitlement. Research consistently shows that while not every person who abuses… Read More When Domestic Abuse Crosses Into Child Abuse
Type of Abuse What It Looks Like Common Warning Signs Physical Abuse The use or threat of physical force to intimidate or cause harm. Hitting, pushing, grabbing, restraining, blocking exits, throwing objects, unexplained injuries, threats of violence. Psychological / Emotional Abuse Behaviour that damages confidence, identity or emotional wellbeing. Constant criticism, humiliation, insults, silent treatment,… Read More Different Types of Abuse: Recognising Harmful Patterns and Warning Signs
People look at the wedding photograph and ask the same question. “Why the rush?” Why the quick engagement? Why the quick wedding? Why leave behind a secure home, a career, friends and family to move to another country? Looking back now, the answers seem painfully obvious. At the time, they were invisible. That is the… Read More Looking Back: The Psychology of Isolation, Control and the Illusion of Choice
