Privacy is healthy. Secrecy that protects abuse is not. One common tactic in controlling families or abusive relationships is creating an unwritten rule that certain things must never be discussed outside the family. This can discourage victims from seeking help and make it easier for abuse to continue. Phrases That May Be Used to Silence… Read More When “Keeping It Private” Becomes a Tool of Control
No single answer proves that abuse or financial control has occurred. However, asking thoughtful questions can help identify patterns of coercive control, manipulation, or unhealthy relationship dynamics. Communication and Openness Are people free to speak openly, or do they appear afraid of saying the wrong thing? Do family members or friends avoid discussing certain topics?… Read More Questions to Ask When Trying to Understand the Dynamics of a Relationship
Abuse rarely begins with obvious violence. It often starts with subtle behaviours that become more controlling over time. While no single sign proves someone is abusive, a pattern of these behaviours should never be ignored. Pay Attention to Their History Do they have a history of abusive or controlling relationships? Do former partners describe similar… Read More Warning Signs of Abuse in a New Relationship
15 Days from Freedom Fifteen days from freedom. Of course, he chose today. By now, I wouldn’t expect anything less. Three years ago, I made a choice I deeply regret. Despite my knowledge and experience in trauma therapy, I believed I could manage the situation once I escaped the isolation of France. I convinced myself… Read More “Your Body Knows Before Your Mind Accepts It.”
When we’re younger, it’s easy to believe that abundance is something we have to chase. A bigger house. A better job. More money. More holidays. More possessions. More achievements. We spend years believing that happiness is waiting just beyond the next milestone. Then something changes. It doesn’t always happen because we get older. Sometimes it… Read More Abundance Isn’t About Having More. It’s About Seeing More.
Alone Isn’t Lonely. For Some, It’s an Upgrade. There was a time when being alone was seen as something to fear. Society often tells us that happiness comes from finding “the one,” surrounding ourselves with people, or always having someone by our side. But for many people—especially those who have lived through controlling, abusive, or… Read More Upgrade
That is one of the questions almost every survivor asks themselves: “Why could everyone else see it, and I couldn’t?” The answer is usually much simpler—and kinder to yourself—than you think. You didn’t meet the person everyone else eventually saw. You met the version of him that was charming, attentive, affectionate, and convincing. Abusive people… Read More “Why could everyone else see it, and I couldn’t?”
Marriage is often seen as a symbol of love, commitment, trust, and shared values. But sometimes, it is something very different. Sometimes, marriage is a cover. For some individuals, marriage provides the appearance of respectability. It creates an image of stability that can hide a very different reality behind closed doors. A marriage can become… Read More When Marriage Is Just a Cover
Sometimes it feels as though every time one question is answered, another emerges. Just when you think you’ve reached the end, another letter arrives. Another email. Another message. Another person quietly steps forward and says, “There’s something you should know.” Some knew him years ago. Some knew him in another country. Some knew him long… Read More Does It Ever End?
Sadism in families refers to situations where a family member gains satisfaction, pleasure, a sense of power, or emotional gratification from causing another family member pain, distress, humiliation, fear, or suffering. This does not always involve physical violence. In many families, sadistic behaviour is emotional or psychological. Examples can include: Deliberately humiliating a child, partner,… Read More Sadism
