Category: ABUSE, VIOLENCE & DISCLOSURE

When Someone Has a History of Violence: Disclosure, Accountability and Safety

“Keep It in the Family” Can Be Dangerous: Why Silence Protects Abuse, Not Victims

Abuse thrives in secrecy.

Whether it is physical violence, coercive control, emotional abuse, financial abuse or sexual abuse, perpetrators often rely on silence to continue their behaviour.

When victims are discouraged from speaking, or when those around them minimise what they disclose, the abusive behaviour can become more frequent, more severe and more dangerous.

Silence is not a solution.… Read More “Keep It in the Family” Can Be Dangerous: Why Silence Protects Abuse, Not Victims

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Why the Period Around Separation Can Be the Most Dangerous

Survivors of domestic abuse often face heightened risks after leaving their relationship, as abuse can escalate during separation or legal disputes. Abusers may resort to intimidation, stalking, and manipulation to regain control. It’s crucial for survivors to take threats seriously and seek support to ensure their safety.… Read More Why the Period Around Separation Can Be the Most Dangerous

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🧠 When Someone You Love Has ASPD: Choosing to Stay or Walk Away

And why choosing your safety isn’t cruel—it’s necessary. We don’t often talk about what it really means to live with someone diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD)—or what it costs your soul to stay. When people hear “ASPD,” they often think of criminals or serial offenders. But ASPD shows up far more subtly in daily life—partners, parents, siblings,… Read More 🧠 When Someone You Love Has ASPD: Choosing to Stay or Walk Away

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💔 Can You Love Someone with Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) — Especially If They’re Violent?

Smiling elf-like creature with purple eyes, scaled skin, and pointed ears adorned with rings, sitting by a crafting wheel surrounded by glowing plants and gold thread.

The honest and evidence-based answer is: You can love someone with ASPD, but that love may not be emotionally or physically safe — especially if violence is involved.And safety, not love, must come first. 🧠 What is ASPD? Antisocial Personality Disorder is a serious and often misunderstood condition characterized by: A pervasive pattern of disregard for… Read More 💔 Can You Love Someone with Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) — Especially If They’re Violent?

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The Psychology of Child Sexual Abusers: What Research Actually Tells Us

Child sexual abuse is often imagined as being committed by a recognisable type of person: someone obviously disturbed, socially isolated, aggressive or visibly predatory. Research tells us something considerably more complicated. There is no single psychological profile, personality disorder or psychiatric diagnosis that identifies a child sexual abuser. People who sexually abuse children are a heterogeneous… Read More The Psychology of Child Sexual Abusers: What Research Actually Tells Us

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Take the disclosure seriously enough to act

If an abuser discloses something genuinely disturbing about another family member—especially something suggesting a child or grandchild may be at risk—the safest approach is not to dismiss it, but also not to investigate it yourself. A sensible framework is: Take the disclosure seriously enough to act. Write down exactly what was said, when, by whom, and any… Read More Take the disclosure seriously enough to act

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Never Ignore a History of Domestic Violence

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

If you discover that someone has a criminal conviction for domestic violence, take it seriously. Don’t allow anyone to minimise it or explain it away with familiar phrases such as: “She made it up.” “She’s unstable.” “She’s bitter.” “She’s only after money.” “It was just a messy divorce.” “There are two sides to every story.”… Read More Never Ignore a History of Domestic Violence

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Starting a New Relationship? Here’s How You Can Check if Your New Partner Has a History of Domestic Abuse

Beginning a new relationship should be exciting, but it is also important to protect yourself. If something doesn’t feel right, trust your instincts. You have every right to ask questions, take things slowly, and make informed decisions about your safety. Many people don’t realise that in some countries there are official schemes that allow you… Read More Starting a New Relationship? Here’s How You Can Check if Your New Partner Has a History of Domestic Abuse

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Why VioGén Gives Me Peace of Mind

One of the greatest sources of reassurance for me is knowing that my case is recorded within Spain’s VioGén system. The evidence I have provided—including statements, photographs, reports and other relevant information—forms part of the case information available to the authorities responsible for protecting victims of gender-based violence. This means that, if I ever need… Read More Why VioGén Gives Me Peace of Mind

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