Abuse is a term that refers to the mistreatment, harm, or infliction of injury on someone, either through physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, or other means. Abuse can occur in various contexts, including relationships, families, institutions, and broader social settings. It is a serious violation of an individual’s rights and can have profound and lasting effects on their physical, emotional, and psychological well-being.
1. Why Courts Deny Appeals to Drop Restraining Orders Courts rarely remove restraining orders lightly because the safety of the protected person is paramount. Before considering removal, they typically review: History of abuse or harassment: Prior incidents, documented threats, or violence. Police reports: Evidence of criminal activity or domestic incidents. Psychologist or psychiatrist reports: Evaluations of risk, mental health concerns,… Read More Rejected Appeals
There was never anyone else.I returned from holiday with my family — my children and grandchildren. Nothing more, nothing hidden. The idea of a “mystery man” was a story used to discredit me. In reality, he had another partner while using my hard-earned money and restricting my access to my own finances. For decades, I… Read More Calm truth
One of the reasons many survivors don’t speak out sooner is simple:they already know they won’t be supported. In some families, the abuse isn’t a secret.It has been seen before.Hints have been dropped.Incidents have been witnessed, minimised, or quietly explained away. Instead of intervening, the family: avoids talking about it protects the abuser’s image pressures… Read More When Families Know About Abuse
One of the reasons many survivors don’t speak out sooner is simple:they already know they won’t be supported. In some families, the abuse isn’t a secret.It has been seen before.Hints have been dropped.Incidents have been witnessed, minimised, or quietly explained away. Instead of intervening, the family: avoids talking about it protects the abuser’s image pressures… Read More When Families Know About Abuse — and Choose Silence
Let’s start with the truth most survivors are pressured not to say: Abusers rely on silence, minimisation, and “being the bigger person.”Protection of abusers is one of the most socially normalised forms of harm. 1. Abuse Is Not “Loss of Control” — It Is Selective Control Abusers: Control their language at work Control themselves with authority figures Control… Read More Exposing the Abuser (No Sugar-Coating)
Most do not — and when they do, it is usually abstract, not empathic. 1. Empathy is compartmentalised, not absent Contrary to popular belief, many abusers are not “emotionless.” They can show selective empathy — especially toward people they identify with or feel ownership over (their mother, daughter, family name). Neuroscience shows this as compartmentalisation in the brain: Empathy… Read More Do abusers ever look outside the box and imagine it happening to their own loved ones?
More survivors of domestic abuse died by suicide last year than were killed directly by a partner. This stark statistic from the Home Office exposes a truth that is still widely overlooked:domestic abuse kills — even when there are no visible injuries. Coercive control and psychological abuse work by stripping away a person’s autonomy, identity,… Read More Abuse Doesn’t Have to End in Murder to Be Fatal
1. The Brain Prefers Familiar Power Over Disruptive Truth Normalcy Bias (Neuroscience) The human brain is designed to preserve stability. Abuse threatens the idea that families, leaders, institutions, and “nice men” are safe Accepting the victim’s truth requires the brain to rewrite reality That creates cognitive stress, so the brain rejects the information instead It feels easier to doubt the… Read More Some people protect power, not truth
Abuse doesn’t take a holiday — in fact, it often intensifies during holidays like Christmas or birthdays. Many victims think that leaving home, going on a trip, or being away from daily stress might protect them, but abuse thrives in isolation. Abusers exploit distance from friends, family, and familiar environments to gain control. After 32 Christmases of living… Read More Abuse doesn’t take a holiday
1. The “Mask of Normalcy” Many perpetrators present themselves as charming, competent, polite, or socially respectable. This public persona is carefully curated to avoid suspicion, maintain social standing, and manipulate perceptions. High social intelligence Good communication skills Reliability in work or community roles Superficial warmth and empathy This is sometimes called “the façade of normalcy”, which conceals abusive… Read More The Hidden Nature of Perpetrators
