Tag: parenting

When Children Are Drawn Into Abuse and Coercive Control

One of the most damaging aspects of domestic abuse is when children or grandchildren become involved in adult conflicts. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, placing children in the middle of abusive dynamics can have lasting psychological consequences. Triangulation occurs when a third person—often a child—is drawn into a conflict between adults. This can involve carrying messages, taking… Read More When Children Are Drawn Into Abuse and Coercive Control

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Parents Who Encourage Cheating, Lying, and Disrespect

Parents are a child’s first teachers. Children learn values not from lectures, but from what they see, hear, and experience every day. When parents encourage honesty, integrity, and respect, children are more likely to develop those qualities themselves. But when parents encourage cheating, lying, manipulation, or disrespect, they teach a very different lesson. A parent… Read More Parents Who Encourage Cheating, Lying, and Disrespect

Linda C J Turner3 Comments

Children Often Learn What We Live, Not What We Say

One of the most uncomfortable truths about parenting is that children learn far more from what they observe than from what they are told. Parents may spend years teaching values, giving advice, and explaining what is important in life. Yet children are often paying closer attention to behaviour than words. They watch how we treat… Read More Children Often Learn What We Live, Not What We Say

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When Adult Children Make It Clear They Won’t Be There

One of the most painful realities some parents face is the growing realisation that their adult children have no intention of helping, supporting, or caring for them as they grow older. This is not about expecting children to sacrifice their own lives or become full-time carers. Most loving parents want their children to be independent,… Read More When Adult Children Make It Clear They Won’t Be There

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Consistent behaviour creates consistent outcomes.

If, over the years, the dynamic has been: transactional rather than supportive distant rather than involved critical rather than encouraging …then later in life, that dynamic often continues — just in reverse. So yes, it’s worth asking: When was the last time you: Offered help without being asked? Took pressure off instead of adding to… Read More Consistent behaviour creates consistent outcomes.

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Be nice when it benefits you

When behaviour becomes conditional —“be nice when it benefits you,”“be respectful when there’s authority,”“be kind when it’s easy” — what gets built isn’t character, it’s calculation. And psychology explains why. Children are highly sensitive to reinforcement patterns. If they learn that kindness earns praise, but only in visible or rewarded situations, they start to link behaviour with… Read More Be nice when it benefits you

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When was the last time you said it out loud?

“Respect other people.”“Be kind.”“Help others, even when there’s nothing in it for you.” Not implied. Not assumed. Actually said. Because here’s the uncomfortable truth — children don’t magically absorb values. They learn what is repeated, what is reinforced, and what is lived in front of them. Psychology is very clear on this. Children are shaped through observational learning — they… Read More When was the last time you said it out loud?

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Safeguarding Guide (Valencia & Alicante): Parents & Schools

🧠 1. What schools in Spain are required to do Across Comunitat Valenciana, schools must: Have a child protection/safeguarding coordinator Follow mandatory reporting rules under LOPIVI (Child Protection Law 8/2021) Act immediately on any suspicion of abuse or grooming Work with social services and police when needed 👉 Key point: schools are legally required to report concerns, not investigate them… Read More Safeguarding Guide (Valencia & Alicante): Parents & Schools

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How online grooming typically happens

Grooming is a process, not a single event. It usually unfolds in stages: 1. Targeting The person identifies a young person through: Social media (Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, gaming chats) Online games or forums Messaging apps They often choose: Vulnerable or isolated teens Young people posting a lot publicly Anyone seeking attention, validation, or support 2. Building trust (“gaining… Read More How online grooming typically happens

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