Tag: parenting

When the Behaviour You Taught Comes Back to You

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

The content discusses how children learn behaviors from their parents, often unconsciously adopting negative patterns such as manipulation, disrespect, or cruelty. It emphasizes the importance of modeling healthy relationship dynamics, as children may later reflect these learned behaviors back onto their parents. The piece urges introspection on what values are being taught through actions, not just words.… Read More When the Behaviour You Taught Comes Back to You

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When Someone Suggests They Know Something About A Child That You Don’t Know — Don’t Ignore the Alarm Bells

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

Sometimes the most important warning sign isn’t what someone tells you. It’s what they imply they know. Imagine someone makes an apparently casual comment about your child. Perhaps they mention something you didn’t know. Perhaps they imply they have information about your child’s life that hasn’t been shared with you. Perhaps they say: “I know… Read More When Someone Suggests They Know Something About A Child That You Don’t Know — Don’t Ignore the Alarm Bells

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Entitlement, learned attitudes toward money, attachment, and family dynamics.

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

There is an interesting psychological phenomenon behind this, particularly when adult children suddenly become attentive when they believe an inheritance is imminent. It can reveal a great deal about entitlement, learned attitudes toward money, attachment, and family dynamics. The psychology of “inheritance behaviour” When a parent is perceived as having substantial assets, the relationship can subtly… Read More Entitlement, learned attitudes toward money, attachment, and family dynamics.

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Healthy vulnerability 

This is a powerful subject, particularly because children don’t learn emotional resilience from watching adults pretend that nothing hurts. They learn it by watching adults experience difficult emotions and handle them safely. There is an important distinction between healthy vulnerability and making a child responsible for an adult’s emotional wellbeing. A parent doesn’t need to tell a child… Read More Healthy vulnerability 

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What If We Taught Empathy as Seriously as We Teach Mathematics?

Imagine a school where children aren’t only taught how to solve mathematical problems, read books and pass examinations. Imagine a school where they are also taught how to understand another person’s feelings. How to recognise fear behind anger. How to notice when somebody is withdrawing. How to listen without immediately judging. How to disagree without… Read More What If We Taught Empathy as Seriously as We Teach Mathematics?

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The quality of relationships matters much more than the family structure itself.

There isn’t a simple rule that a two-parent family or a single-parent family is inherently “healthier.” Decades of developmental psychology consistently show that the quality of relationships matters much more than the family structure itself. Children generally do best in environments that are safe, stable, nurturing, and predictable. Superficially “Perfect” Family with Chronic Conflict Single Parent… Read More The quality of relationships matters much more than the family structure itself.

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Children Learn From What We Do, Not What We Say

Children are far more perceptive than many adults give them credit for. They notice inconsistencies. They observe how people treat one another, how conflict is handled, whether apologies are genuine, and whether actions match words. Neuroscience and developmental psychology have shown that children learn through observation. Psychologist Albert Bandura demonstrated that children imitate behaviours they… Read More Children Learn From What We Do, Not What We Say

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“Get Over It” Is Not Healing—Healthy Families Break the Cycle

Children and grandchildren learn far more from what they observe than from what they are told. Neuroscience and psychology consistently show that young people develop their understanding of relationships by watching the adults around them. When families remain trapped in anger, resentment, hostility, and unresolved conflict for years or even decades, the next generation absorbs… Read More “Get Over It” Is Not Healing—Healthy Families Break the Cycle

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When Children Are Drawn Into Abuse and Coercive Control

One of the most damaging aspects of domestic abuse is when children or grandchildren become involved in adult conflicts. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, placing children in the middle of abusive dynamics can have lasting psychological consequences. Triangulation occurs when a third person—often a child—is drawn into a conflict between adults. This can involve carrying messages, taking… Read More When Children Are Drawn Into Abuse and Coercive Control

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