Category: LINDA C J TURNER – Trauma Therapist

Three Boxes of Self-Help Books: Thirty Years Spent Trying to Fix a Marriage That Was Never Mine to Fix

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

As I prepare for my final move, I have been sorting through decades of paperwork. Among the boxes were three large cartons filled with self-help books. Books on relationships. Communication. Trauma. Psychology. Neuroscience. Emotional intelligence. Attachment theory. Mindfulness. Marriage. Forgiveness. Conflict resolution. Thousands upon thousands of pages. Three decades of searching for answers. Three decades… Read More Three Boxes of Self-Help Books: Thirty Years Spent Trying to Fix a Marriage That Was Never Mine to Fix

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

When will people understand?

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

When will people understand? It’s not what you say.It’s not the promises you make.It’s not the image you try to project. It’s how you behave. It’s how you treat people when no one else is watching. Kindness.Respect.Honesty.Empathy.Patience.Laughter.Compassion.Consistency. These are the qualities that build trust and create lasting relationships. Empty words, broken promises, manipulation, threats, control,… Read More When will people understand?

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Keep the faith

Everything is unfolding exactly as it should in my life. Not because every chapter has been easy, but because every experience has taught me something I needed to learn. The challenges built resilience. The losses created space for new beginnings. The uncertainty led me to trust myself. Today, I choose gratitude over regret, peace over… Read More Keep the faith

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Financial wealth and emotional wealth are not the same thing

Someone may spend years criticizing other people for being obsessed with money or status, only to become preoccupied with those very things themselves. Psychologists sometimes refer to this as a form of psychological projection or defensive self-enhancement—criticizing in others what one is uncomfortable acknowledging in oneself. However, it’s important not to assume this explanation applies to any specific… Read More Financial wealth and emotional wealth are not the same thing

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Sacrifice

From the perspectives of psychology and neuroscience, this pattern is not simply about money. When someone pressures a partner to sell their car, home, family heirlooms, or other valuable possessions while concealing their own assets, it can be a form of financial abuse and coercive control. The possessions themselves often carry more than financial value—they represent independence, security, family… Read More Sacrifice

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Power, control, security, identity, or status.

When money becomes more important than a relationship or family, psychology and neuroscience suggest that the money itself is rarely the true priority. More often, money represents something much deeper: power, control, security, identity, or status. The Psychology Behind It In healthy relationships, money is viewed as a shared resource that supports the family. In abusive or… Read More Power, control, security, identity, or status.

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

The Psychology of the Illusion of Control

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

From a psychological and neuroscientific perspective, this can happen. Some abusive individuals will make decisions that appear irrational—sacrificing relationships, finances, reputation, or even their own future—because the immediate need to dominate or avoid feeling powerless overrides long-term self-interest. The key point is that control is not the same as power. The Psychology of the Illusion of… Read More The Psychology of the Illusion of Control

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Financial Exploitation Over Decades: When You Realise It Was Never Personal

One of the most painful questions survivors ask after leaving an abusive relationship is: “Why me?” They replay conversations, decisions and memories, searching for the moment they believe they failed. But sometimes, as more of the past becomes clear, another question emerges: “What if it was never really about me?” Seeing the Pattern Many survivors… Read More Financial Exploitation Over Decades: When You Realise It Was Never Personal

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

“Everyone Said the Same Thing”: When Other People Notice Something Isn’t Right

One of the most confusing experiences for survivors of coercive control is discovering, often years later, that other people had quietly felt uncomfortable too. Friends may say: “There was always something that didn’t feel right.” “I couldn’t relax around them.” “They seemed cold.” “There was something intimidating about them.” “I couldn’t understand why you always… Read More “Everyone Said the Same Thing”: When Other People Notice Something Isn’t Right

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment