Coming Clean: Telling a New Partner About a History of Abuse, Violence or Restraining-Order Breaches

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

Starting a new relationship usually involves gradually getting to know one another. You talk about your past, your family, your previous relationships, your hopes, your mistakes and the experiences that have shaped you. But what happens when someone’s past includes convictions for domestic abuse, physical violence, threats or breaking restraining orders? At what point should a… Read More Coming Clean: Telling a New Partner About a History of Abuse, Violence or Restraining-Order Breaches

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Breaking a Restraining Order: Why a Breach Can Be a Serious Criminal Matter

A restraining order is not a suggestion. It is a court-ordered legal restriction designed to protect a person from further contact, harassment, intimidation, approach or violence. When a person deliberately breaks that order, the breach can become a new criminal offence in its own right. This is particularly important in cases involving domestic abuse, physical violence, threats or… Read More Breaking a Restraining Order: Why a Breach Can Be a Serious Criminal Matter

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Restraining/protection order imposed because of physical violence

Restraining/protection order imposed because of physical violence, and the person then broke that order, that is potentially a significant criminal matter in both Spain and the UK. The exact offence and maximum penalty depend on the type of order and the circumstances. 🇪🇸 Spain In Spain, breaching a judicial restraining order can constitute quebrantamiento de condena under… Read More Restraining/protection order imposed because of physical violence

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What does “moral turpitude” mean?

Crimes involving moral turpitude (CIMT) is a legal term, most commonly encountered in U.S. immigration law, although the concept can also arise in professional licensing and other legal contexts. It does not simply mean that a person has behaved badly or immorally. What does “moral turpitude” mean? In U.S. immigration law, the term has no single statutory definition. Case… Read More What does “moral turpitude” mean?

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The Art of a Good Conversation: Why Being Heard Matters

Older woman and younger man smiling and talking at an outdoor café table with coffee cups and pastry.

The difference between a good conversation and a forgettable one often comes down to something surprisingly simple: Were you actually listening? Not listening while planning what you are going to say next.Not waiting for your opportunity to tell your own story.Not subtly steering the conversation back towards yourself. Actually listening. Being present enough to notice… Read More The Art of a Good Conversation: Why Being Heard Matters

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When You Don’t See What Others See: The Neuroscience of Self-Perception, Trauma and Being Seen

Older woman standing on porch looking thoughtful with overlay images of family moments and memories

Have you ever been told something about yourself repeatedly, yet somehow never really seen it yourself? Perhaps friends have said: “When you walk into a room, people notice you.” “Men are always looking at you.” “You don’t realise how attractive you are.” You may have dismissed it, laughed it off or simply not understood what… Read More When You Don’t See What Others See: The Neuroscience of Self-Perception, Trauma and Being Seen

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When You Don’t See What Others See: The Gap Between Self-Perception and How Others See Us

Have you ever been told something about yourself repeatedly, yet somehow never really seen it yourself? Perhaps friends have said, “When you walk into a room, people notice you,” or “Men are always looking at you.” You may have laughed it off, dismissed it, or simply not understood what they meant. Even years later, you may still not particularly… Read More When You Don’t See What Others See: The Gap Between Self-Perception and How Others See Us

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When Cruelty Crosses The Line

Cruelty can be abuse, but cruelty and abuse are not interchangeable terms. A useful way to understand the progression is: Cruelty describes harmful treatment.Abuse describes a broader pattern of harmful, controlling, exploitative or coercive behaviour. When cruelty becomes repeated, deliberate and part of a pattern that causes physical, emotional, psychological or financial harm, it can properly… Read More When Cruelty Crosses The Line

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The important difference

Behaviour What it means What happens to the other person’s suffering? Example Ordinary cruelty Deliberately causing pain, humiliation or distress, or showing a serious disregard for another person’s suffering The suffering is known but disregarded Knowing someone is already distressed and deliberately saying something designed to hurt or humiliate them Bullying Repeated behaviour intended to intimidate,… Read More The important difference

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Cruelty, sadism and moral disengagement are not the same thing

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

Concept What it means Relationship to another person’s suffering Cruelty Deliberately causing or allowing suffering, pain, humiliation or distress The suffering is knowingly inflicted or disregarded Sadism Deriving gratification, pleasure or satisfaction from another person’s suffering or humiliation The suffering itself can become rewarding Moral disengagement Psychological processes that allow someone to harm or exploit… Read More Cruelty, sadism and moral disengagement are not the same thing

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