The police already maintain a number of databases which will hold details of domestic abuse perpetrators, for example the Police National Computer, Police National Database and the ViSOR Dangerous Persons Database. The Home Office and the Ministry of Justice have jointly funded a project to create the new Multi-Agency Public Protection System (MAPPS) which will… Read More National “register” of domestic abuse perpetrators
When you’ve been living with prolonged stress, trauma, or abuse, constant exhaustion isn’t because you’re weak—it’s because your brain and body have been working overtime for months or even years. Here’s what is happening in the brain and nervous system: 1. Your Brain Is Constantly Scanning for Danger constantly transmit signals through brain networks involved in… Read More Your Brain Is Constantly Scanning for Danger
One of the first signs I noticed that I was truly healing wasn’t dramatic. It wasn’t a single breakthrough or a life-changing event. It was something much quieter. I stopped feeling exhausted all the time. For years, I lived as though I was running on empty. No matter how much I slept, I woke feeling… Read More When You Stop Feeling Constantly Exhausted
For years, I didn’t realise how deeply trauma had affected my sleep. I could fall asleep exhausted, yet wake feeling as though I hadn’t rested at all. My body slept, but my nervous system remained on guard, never quite believing it was safe enough to switch off completely. Many survivors of prolonged stress, domestic abuse,… Read More When Your Sleep Changes: A Quiet Sign Your Nervous System Is Healing
There is something happening to me that I didn’t expect from healing. I can feel the world again. Not emotionally overwhelmed by it. Not frightened by it. I can actually feel it. For years, my nervous system existed in a state of heightened alertness. When you live with domestic abuse, coercive control, unpredictability, or fear, your… Read More When You Stop Surviving and Start Feeling Life Again
One of the most unexpected gifts of healing has been the awakening of my senses. The other evening I drove home through the mountains with the windows open. The cool night air gently brushed against my skin as the unmistakable scent of wild fennel drifted in from the roadside. It was such a simple moment,… Read More When Healing Awakens Your Senses
Some people earn a reputation as a “good person” because of how they treat friends, colleagues, neighbours, and acquaintances. Others maintain that reputation because the person they hurt chose silence instead of telling their side of the story. This is one of the most difficult realities of domestic abuse. Public image and private behaviour are… Read More The Reputation Gap: When Public Image Hides Private Abuse
One question I have been asked many times since leaving an abusive relationship is: “How did you not see it?” For a long time, I asked myself exactly the same question. Then, something unexpected happened. As people gradually learned what I had experienced, they began sharing their own impressions. Friends, neighbours, business people and professionals… Read More Trauma Can Blind Us to Red Flags
“If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” It sounds like a simple piece of advice, but after years of living around constant judgement, I have come to believe it is one of the greatest indicators of emotional maturity. Some people seem unable to resist criticising others. Every conversation becomes… Read More If You Don’t Have Something Kind to Say…
One of the hardest things to understand after leaving an emotionally abusive relationship is not the shouting, the control, or even the manipulation. It’s the astonishing hypocrisy. For years, I wondered how someone could be so relentlessly judgemental. Every friend was criticised. Every family member was picked apart. Complete strangers walking down the street became… Read More The Mask They Wear
