There is an interesting psychological phenomenon behind this, particularly when adult children suddenly become attentive when they believe an inheritance is imminent. It can reveal a great deal about entitlement, learned attitudes toward money, attachment, and family dynamics.

The psychology of “inheritance behaviour”

When a parent is perceived as having substantial assets, the relationship can subtly change. A child who has previously shown little interest may suddenly call more often, become unusually affectionate, ask about health, finances or property, or develop a sudden interest in spending time with the parent.

From the outside, it can almost be amusing to watch the transformation: indifference becomes attentiveness, distance becomes affection, and “How are you?” suddenly has a financial subtext.

Psychologically, several mechanisms can be involved.

1. Learned attitudes toward money

Children don’t simply learn what money is worth; they observe how their families behave around it.

If a child grows up hearing conversations about inheritance, wealth, possessions and “who gets what,” money can become associated with security, status and entitlement. They may learn, consciously or unconsciously, that family relationships can also have an economic dimension.

2. Operant conditioning

Behaviour that produces a reward tends to be repeated.

If increased attention to a parent historically resulted in gifts, financial help or other benefits, the brain can learn an association:

attention → reward.

That doesn’t automatically mean the person is consciously manipulating anyone. Human behaviour can become conditioned without the individual sitting down and deliberately deciding to be mercenary.

3. The psychology of entitlement

Entitlement can produce the belief that someone is owed access to another person’s resources simply because they are family.

This is where language such as “It’s going to be mine eventually anyway” becomes psychologically revealing.

The parent is still alive, yet the child’s mind has already mentally converted the parent’s property into their own future asset.

That can create a disturbing psychological shift: the parent becomes associated with the inheritance rather than being valued simply as a person.

4. Scarcity and anticipated loss

Anticipating an inheritance can also activate powerful reward and scarcity mechanisms in the brain.

Something that previously seemed irrelevant suddenly becomes extremely valuable because its availability appears limited. The closer the perceived opportunity, the greater the attention.

This is one reason behaviour can change dramatically when someone believes an inheritance is approaching.

5. Family roles and childhood conditioning

Sometimes the behaviour isn’t purely about greed.

Family systems can create complicated patterns around money. One child may have been taught to expect financial assistance, another may have been made responsible for themselves, while another may have learned that being “the good child” earns approval or material rewards.

Those patterns can continue into adulthood.

But there is an important distinction

Not every adult child who becomes more attentive is being manipulative.

A parent becoming older can genuinely make a child reconsider the relationship. They may suddenly realise that time with their parent is finite. They may want reconciliation, closeness or simply to be present.

The important question is whether the increased attention is directed toward the person or toward the person’s assets.

Does the child ask:

“How are you?”

Or:

“What are you doing with the house?”

Does their interest remain when there is nothing financial to gain?

Do they respect the parent’s decisions about their own money?

Do they continue visiting when the inheritance is removed from the equation?

Those differences can be extremely revealing.

The uncomfortable truth

Sometimes the greatest test of a family relationship isn’t a crisis.

It’s money.

Money has a remarkable ability to expose motivations that ordinary circumstances can conceal.

And perhaps the most important psychological lesson is this:

Your children may have a right to love you, but they do not automatically have a right to your assets.

An inheritance is a gift—not an entitlement.

And a parent should be allowed to spend, give, protect, donate or leave their money wherever they choose while they are alive.

Sometimes, watching someone’s behaviour change when they believe they are about to inherit tells you far more about the relationship than years of conversation ever could.