When psychologists assess someone with patterns like: they’re not just looking at incidents — they’re looking at patterns across time, thinking style, and likelihood of change. 1. Using the HCR-20 in This Context A professional would map behaviour like this: Historical (H) They would look for: 👉 This builds a picture of whether the behaviour is situational or lifelong.… Read More How These Assessments Apply in Real Situations
Here’s a clear, simple explanation of each of these tools — what they are, how they’re used, and what they actually assess: 1. HCR-20 (Historical, Clinical, Risk Management-20) This is a professional risk assessment tool used mainly by psychologists, psychiatrists, and forensic specialists to evaluate the likelihood of future violent behaviour. What it looks at: It is divided into… Read More The full psychological picture:
A common belief is that separation from an abusive partner should naturally lead to a reduction in abusive behaviour. In reality, many people experience the opposite: control, intimidation, manipulation, or emotional aggression continues — and sometimes intensifies. Neuroscience and psychology help explain why this happens. 1. The Brain Does Not Automatically “Improve” With Age There… Read More Why Abuse Doesn’t Stop After Separation: What Neuroscience and Psychology Really Tell Us
Some patterns of behaviour are not temporary habits. They are deeply embedded ways of relating to others, often formed over decades and reinforced within families where control, intimidation, or emotional pressure were seen as “normal.” In these environments, power is not expressed through cooperation or understanding, but through threats, ultimatums, guilt, or dominance. Over time,… Read More When Control Becomes a Way of Life: Why Some Behaviour Rarely Changes — and What It Does to Relationships
In emotionally complex situations, it is common to receive completely opposing advice from people who care about you. One friend may encourage you to stay and preserve what has been built over time. Another may urge you to leave and prioritise your wellbeing immediately. Both can sound confident. Both can feel convincing. Yet they point… Read More When Friends Give Opposite Advice: Understanding Mixed Signals Through Neuroscience and Psychology
There is a point in every abusive dynamic where the focus quietly shifts. At the beginning, you try to understand: You analyse, adjust, tolerate, and try again. But this is where many people get trapped. Because the focus stays on them. Why You Try to Understand Them From a Psychology perspective, this is not weakness—it’s patterning. Humans are… Read More Stop Trying to Understand the Abuser: The Science of Letting Go
“God’s waiting room” isn’t a formal term in Neuroscience or Psychology—it’s a metaphor people use in everyday language. But it points to some very real psychological and neurological states. Colloquially, it often refers to: But beyond the literal, it’s often describing a mental and emotional experience. The psychology behind it In psychology, this idea connects to a few key… Read More What people usually mean by “God’s waiting room”
At a certain point, behaviour stops being confusing and starts being revealing. There are situations where someone pushes relentlessly for an outcome over a long period of time — creating pressure, urgency, and expectation — only to block or undermine that same outcome the moment it finally arrives. From the outside, it looks irrational. But… Read More When People Become Their Own Obstacle: The Psychology of Self-Sabotage
From the outside, it looks irrational. A property has been pushed onto the market for months. Pressure builds. Urgency is created. Deadlines are imposed. The message is consistent: we must sell, and we must sell now. Then, finally, the outcome arrives — a full asking price offer. And yet… the deal stalls. No signature. No movement.… Read More When Control Overrides Logic: The Psychology Behind Property Sale Sabotage
And then there is another layer that rarely gets mentioned: the people orbiting the process. In many long-running negotiations, there is a secondary field of pressure — family members, advisors, or stakeholders who are not directly negotiating, but are still emotionally invested in the outcome. They are not driving the process, but they are affected… Read More Act Five: The Family Waiting Room Effect
Linda C J Turner | Trauma Therapist & Emotional Healing Specialist 