“The pain you give someone else—the lies, betrayal, manipulation and disrespect—never truly disappears. Whether you call it karma or consequences, our actions have a remarkable way of finding their way back to us.” For thousands of years, cultures around the world have embraced the concept of karma: the belief that the energy we put into… Read More Karma, Consequences and the Neuroscience of Human Behaviour
One of the most difficult questions survivors ask is: “How could someone enjoy causing another person so much pain?” For those who have never experienced coercive control, emotional abuse, or psychological manipulation, the idea that another human being could derive satisfaction from another person’s suffering seems incomprehensible. Yet psychology and neuroscience provide important insights into… Read More The Neuroscience and Psychology of Sadistic Behaviour: Why Cruelty Can Become Addictive
People who habitually deceive often rely on one thing above all else: A carefully constructed story. At first, that story may appear convincing. Details are rehearsed, explanations are polished, and confidence can make even unlikely claims sound believable. But neuroscience and psychology suggest there is a fundamental difference between remembering the truth and remembering a fabricated version of… Read More “Even the Best Actor Eventually Forgets Their Lines. The Truth Never Does.”
The mindset can vary from person to person, so it’s not possible to know exactly what any one individual is thinking. However, psychologists often describe certain patterns of thinking that can underlie persistent blame, resentment, and attempts to undermine others. Some common patterns include: Why this can become a cycle When someone repeatedly thinks this way, the… Read More General psychological patterns
When relationships are struggling, many people naturally turn to family or close friends for advice. Support from loved ones can be invaluable. It can provide perspective, comfort, and practical help during difficult times. But not all advice is wise. Sometimes, the loudest voices don’t calm the storm—they become part of it. Instead of encouraging communication,… Read More When Family Becomes Fuel Instead of Support: The Psychology of Destructive Interference
Someone may spend years criticizing other people for being obsessed with money or status, only to become preoccupied with those very things themselves. Psychologists sometimes refer to this as a form of psychological projection or defensive self-enhancement—criticizing in others what one is uncomfortable acknowledging in oneself. However, it’s important not to assume this explanation applies to any specific… Read More Financial wealth and emotional wealth are not the same thing
When money becomes more important than a relationship or family, psychology and neuroscience suggest that the money itself is rarely the true priority. More often, money represents something much deeper: power, control, security, identity, or status. The Psychology Behind It In healthy relationships, money is viewed as a shared resource that supports the family. In abusive or… Read More Power, control, security, identity, or status.
From a psychological and neuroscientific perspective, this can happen. Some abusive individuals will make decisions that appear irrational—sacrificing relationships, finances, reputation, or even their own future—because the immediate need to dominate or avoid feeling powerless overrides long-term self-interest. The key point is that control is not the same as power. The Psychology of the Illusion of… Read More The Psychology of the Illusion of Control
Sometimes a single remark tells us less about a person’s personality than it does about their values. A comment such as, “I wish I’d gone after my ex-wife’s pension. A teacher’s pension would have been much larger than mine. Maybe it’s not too late,” does not, on its own, prove someone is abusive or indicate a particular… Read More “I Wish I’d Gone After My Ex’s Pension”: What Comments Like This May Reveal
One of the most powerful psychological barriers to leaving an unhealthy relationship is something economists call the sunk cost fallacy. A sunk cost is anything that has already been invested and cannot be recovered. This may include money, time, emotional energy, years of commitment, shared experiences, a home, a marriage, children, friendships, or dreams for the future. From… Read More The Sunk Cost Fallacy: “I’ve Already Invested Too Much”
Linda C J Turner | Trauma Therapist & Emotional Healing Specialist 