When Someone Tells You They Are Being Abused: Your Response Matters More Than You Think

It takes enormous courage for someone to disclose domestic abuse. Many survivors have spent months—or even years—wondering whether anyone will believe them. By the time they tell you, they may have rehearsed the conversation hundreds of times in their head. They may be terrified of being judged, blamed or dismissed. How you respond in those… Read More When Someone Tells You They Are Being Abused: Your Response Matters More Than You Think

July 4, 2026September 22, 2026 Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

“Keep It in the Family” Can Be Dangerous: Why Silence Protects Abuse, Not Victims

For generations, families have repeated the same phrases: “Don’t make a fuss.” “Keep it in the family.” “Think of the children.” “Don’t tell anyone.” “You’ll ruin the family.” “Just keep the peace.” On the surface, these words may sound like they are protecting the family. Too often, they are protecting the abuse. Silence Gives Abuse… Read More “Keep It in the Family” Can Be Dangerous: Why Silence Protects Abuse, Not Victims

July 4, 2026September 22, 2026 Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Stop Calling Abuse “Irreconcilable Differences”

One of the most frustrating phrases survivors hear during divorce is: “The marriage has broken down due to irreconcilable differences.” Sometimes that is true. People do grow apart. They fall out of love. They want different futures. Those are genuine irreconcilable differences. But abuse is not one of them. When a relationship ends because one… Read More Stop Calling Abuse “Irreconcilable Differences”

July 4, 2026September 23, 2026 Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Marriage Guidance Is Not a Treatment for Abuse

One of the most damaging myths surrounding domestic abuse is the belief that marriage counselling can fix it. It can’t. Healthy relationships experience disagreements, communication problems, financial pressures and periods of emotional distance. Marriage counselling can often help couples work through these issues because both partners are willing to listen, take responsibility and work together. Abuse is… Read More Marriage Guidance Is Not a Treatment for Abuse

July 4, 2026September 22, 2026 Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

What Does Teamwork in a Relationship Really Mean?

For many years I listened to couples talk about being a “team.” At the time, I understood the words, but I didn’t truly understand what they meant. Looking back after more than three decades of marriage, I realise something heartbreaking: I was never part of a team. Many survivors of controlling, abusive or one-sided relationships… Read More What Does Teamwork in a Relationship Really Mean?

July 4, 2026 Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Five-Factor Model (FFM)

The Big Five Personality Traits, also known as the Five-Factor Model (FFM), is one of the most widely researched and scientifically supported models of personality in psychology. Rather than placing people into fixed “types,” it describes personality as five broad dimensions, with everyone falling somewhere along a spectrum for each trait. It is important to understand that these… Read More Five-Factor Model (FFM)

June 26, 2026 Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

“Double life” structures (compartmentalisation)

Professionals in policing, safeguarding, and forensic psychology look for patterns over time, not single events or impressions. They are essentially trying to separate image from behaviour. Here’s how they typically detect things like grooming patterns, coercive control, and “double life” structures: 1. Grooming patterns (behavioural sequencing) Grooming is not one action — it’s a process. Investigators look for repetition across… Read More “Double life” structures (compartmentalisation)

June 26, 2026September 22, 2026 Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

What impression management can look like in practice

Impression management is a well-studied concept in forensic psychology and sociology. It refers to the ways individuals deliberately shape how others perceive them—especially to appear normal, trustworthy, or harmless while hiding behaviours, intentions, or risks that would damage that image. In the context of offending behaviour, it is often discussed in relation to “deceptive self-presentation” or “social masking.”… Read More What impression management can look like in practice

June 26, 2026 Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

A wedding ring is not evidence that someone is safe

In cases involving convicted child sexual offenders or individuals who have admitted such behaviour, researchers and forensic psychologists have identified several possible motivations: To appear “normal” or respectable. Marriage can create an image of stability and trustworthiness, making it less likely that others will suspect harmful behaviour. To gain access to children. In some cases, marriage provides… Read More A wedding ring is not evidence that someone is safe

June 26, 2026 Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

A marriage certificate is not evidence of a healthy relationship

There have been many high-profile marriages where people later alleged or acknowledged that the relationship concealed something important. However, it is essential to distinguish between confirmed facts, the person’s own statements, and speculation or rumours. Marriages used to conceal sexual orientation Throughout history, particularly when homosexuality carried severe social or legal consequences, some people entered what are often… Read More A marriage certificate is not evidence of a healthy relationship

June 26, 2026 Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment