People often ask me when I’m going to write my book. My answer is always the same. I’m waiting for the divorce to be finalised. For a long time, I simply wasn’t ready to write it. After decades of living with abuse, my priority wasn’t telling my story—it was healing from it. Trauma recovery takes… Read More Waiting for the Final Chapter Before I Write the Next One
One of the most unexpected parts of healing has not been what I see in myself, but what other people see in me. Recently, friends, family, and even people I haven’t seen for a while have been making similar comments. “You look so much more relaxed.” “You seem more confident.” “You’re glowing.” “You smile so… Read More “You Look Different”: The Neuroscience of Finally Feeling Safe
During a conversation this morning, someone said something that resonated deeply with me: “He never wanted you to be happy. He was so miserable with his own life and himself long before he met you that he was determined to destroy any happiness you experienced.” Whether or not we can ever know another person’s true… Read More “He Never Wanted Me to Be Happy”: The Psychology and Neuroscience Behind This Behaviour
Trauma can leave survivors questioning their own memories, doubting their judgement, and wondering whether what they experienced was “bad enough” to matter. This self-doubt is often the result of years of gaslighting, manipulation, and coercive control, where the perpetrator repeatedly distorts reality until the survivor begins to mistrust their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences. The psychological… Read More When Abuse Is Minimized: The Hidden Psychological Harm
For many survivors, divorce is one chapter. A financial settlement is another. Neither of those processes necessarily addresses what happened behind closed doors. Legal matters determine how assets are divided, where people live, and how finances are resolved. They do not automatically acknowledge years of coercive control, emotional abuse, psychological manipulation, intimidation, or violence. For many… Read More Why Having Abuse Recognised Matters: The Psychology and Neuroscience of Acknowledgement
For many survivors, seeking justice and acknowledgement is an important part of the healing journey. It is not about dwelling on the past or reopening old wounds—it is about having their experiences recognised, understanding their rights, and knowing that what happened to them matters. Whether through the criminal justice system, civil proceedings, or simply gaining… Read More Cross-border domestic abuse
Understanding what information is shared between countries about domestic abuse and domestic violence is essential for survivors seeking justice across international borders. In cross-border domestic abuse and international domestic violence cases, authorities may exchange police reports, criminal investigations, court documents, protection orders, risk assessments, and evidence where legally permitted. This cooperation can play a crucial role when a survivor has moved to… Read More International domestic violence cases
No survivor should ever feel they have “left it too late.” Seeking information about reopening an abuse case is not about reopening old wounds—it is about understanding your legal rights, reclaiming your voice, and making informed decisions about your future. Whether your experience involves cross-border domestic abuse, international domestic violence cases, coercive control, psychological abuse, or physical violence, you may… Read More Left it too late!
Many survivors believe that once a case has been closed, or if no charges were brought, there is no possibility of justice. That is not always true. In today’s world, many abusive relationships cross international borders. Couples relocate for work, retire abroad, or move between countries during long-term relationships. Abuse may occur in one country… Read More Can an Abuse Case Be Reopened in Another Country?
The increase in reports of non-fatal strangulation is not necessarily a sign that it is happening more often—it is a sign that it is finally being recognised. For too long, survivors were dismissed because there were few visible injuries. We now understand, through neuroscience and domestic abuse research, that strangulation can cause brain injury, long-term… Read More I was one of those survivors.
