A Beautiful Lady
Here’s to all the strong women out there — and, very sadly, to the not-so-strong ones too.
Over the years I have met women whose courage inspired me, women who fought battles nobody else could see, and women who simply ran out of strength after carrying far too much for far too long. A few are no longer here. I still have the plaques and messages they sent after difficult times, including… Read More Here’s to all the strong women out there — and, very sadly, to the not-so-strong ones too.
Abusers thrive on pain
One of the most disturbing aspects of abuse is that some people seem energised by the pain they cause. While not every abuser consciously enjoys another person’s suffering, many thrive on the power, control, fear, and emotional turmoil they create. The distress of others becomes evidence that their tactics are working. For victims, this can… Read More Abusers thrive on pain
Breaking Point
In emotional abuse, there is no single “pain threshold” that applies to everyone. People respond differently depending on their personality, resilience, support network, life experiences, age, mental health, and the nature of the abuse itself. What one person can withstand for years may overwhelm another much sooner. That does not mean one person is stronger… Read More Breaking Point
When the Person Inflicting Pain Is Someone You Love
As therapists, much of our work focuses on helping people heal from pain. We support survivors of abuse, betrayal, neglect, and trauma as they learn to rebuild their lives and move forward. While this work is challenging, there is often a willingness on the part of the client to understand their experiences and seek change.… Read More When the Person Inflicting Pain Is Someone You Love
Important Safety Warning During Separation and Divorce
Separation, divorce, and financial disputes are often assumed to become safer as they approach resolution. In reality, this is not always the case. When control, access, finances, or property arrangements are coming to an end, tensions can escalate. This stage can be unpredictable, particularly where there has been a history of conflict, coercion, intimidation, or… Read More Important Safety Warning During Separation and Divorce
The most dangerous time
You could write this as a powerful reflection while keeping the focus on safety and awareness: I have been told in no uncertain terms that now is the time to be vigilant. The professionals who deal with these situations every day understand something that many victims do not realise until much later: the period when… Read More The most dangerous time
Evidence remains.
What I learned very quickly was this: when a relationship becomes dangerous, evidence matters. When restraining orders are ignored, when boundaries are repeatedly crossed, and when family members close ranks, gang up on you, or attempt to intimidate and bully you into silence, your feelings and memories are important—but evidence is essential. The Guardia Civil… Read More Evidence remains.
Phone recordings
While sorting through old documents, I also came across something else from that period—recordings of the conversations that took place that night. After being locked out of my own home, I went back inside expecting the worst. Something told me that I needed to record what happened, not out of revenge, but to ensure there… Read More Phone recordings
18 months on
Sorting through old paperwork before my move home has been like opening a time capsule. Some documents bring back happy memories; others remind me of moments I had almost forgotten. One paper in particular took me straight back to a night that now seems almost unbelievable. After spending six hours at the Guardia Civil giving… Read More 18 months on
