For a long time, I wondered where all my contributions had gone. Not just the money. My work.My energy.My sacrifices.My time.My ideas.My emotional labour.My contribution to the household and the life we had built together. I was not raised in poverty, and I was certainly not raised to believe that deprivation was a virtue. I… Read More Where Did My Contributions Go?
There is a point in some relationships when a woman stops explaining. Not because she suddenly stopped caring. Not because she found someone else. Not because she wants you to chase her. And certainly not because she has become cold. Sometimes, her silence is what happens when she has finally run out of words. She… Read More When She Goes Silent: The Woman Who Finally Stopped Trying
Last night, I sat on my roof terrace with a glass of wine, some delicious Belgian chocolates bought for me by two lovely friends, and one of the most beautiful views I could imagine. I looked across at the house where I used to live. And I found myself asking a very simple question: “What… Read More Everything Comes to Those Who Wait
One of the simplest ways to get ahead in life is to become the person people are glad to deal with. Not because you say yes to everything. Not because you allow people to walk all over you. And certainly not because you abandon your boundaries. Being easy to deal with means being pleasant, respectful, reasonable and… Read More Be Easy to Deal With
One of the most difficult things to explain about abuse is how quickly it can change a person’s sense of themselves. It can happen in minutes. A person who was confident, capable and independent can suddenly find themselves frightened, confused, humiliated and desperately trying to make sense of what is happening. It isn’t because they… Read More How an Abuser Can Make You Feel Like Nothing
For years, whenever I went on holiday or out socially, I found myself watching other couples. Not in a judgemental way. I was fascinated. I noticed the softness in their faces when they looked at each other. The laughter. The casual touching. A hand resting gently on an arm. A kiss as they passed each… Read More When Affection Once Looked Alien
Child sexual abuse is often imagined as being committed by a recognisable type of person: someone obviously disturbed, socially isolated, aggressive or visibly predatory. Research tells us something considerably more complicated. There is no single psychological profile, personality disorder or psychiatric diagnosis that identifies a child sexual abuser. People who sexually abuse children are a heterogeneous… Read More The Psychology of Child Sexual Abusers: What Research Actually Tells Us
The central finding is that child sexual offenders are a heterogeneous population. There is no single psychological or personality profile that identifies a child sexual abuser. A major review of the literature specifically concludes that existing typologies have useful descriptive value but also significant methodological limitations. 1. Groth’s typology — early motivational model Groth’s work was… Read More Research-based typologies of people who sexually abuse children
1. Fixated / preferential offenders These individuals have a persistent sexual interest in children or adolescents. Their behaviour may involve grooming, developing relationships with children, seeking situations that provide access, or repeatedly offending. The classic Groth, Longo & McFadin typology distinguished offenders partly by their underlying motivation and relationship to children. Later research has criticised simple typologies… Read More Major research-based typologies
Trait/disorder What is seen in some offenders Antisocial traits / ASPD More common among some sexual offenders, particularly those with broader criminal and aggressive behaviour Narcissistic traits Entitlement, need for admiration, lack of empathy and exploitation can occur, but narcissism alone does not predict child sexual abuse Psychopathic traits Particularly relevant to offenders who are manipulative, callous,… Read More What is seen in some offenders
