Neuroscience & Emotional Regulation
Exploring how the brain and nervous system respond to stress, trauma and emotional experiences—and how understanding these processes can support greater emotional regulation, self-awareness, resilience and wellbeing.
One question I have been asked many times since leaving an abusive relationship is: “How did you not see it?” For a long time, I asked myself exactly the same question. Then, something unexpected happened. As people gradually learned what I had experienced, they began sharing their own impressions. Friends, neighbours, business people and professionals… Read More Trauma Can Blind Us to Red Flags
“The pain you give someone else—the lies, betrayal, manipulation and disrespect—never truly disappears. Whether you call it karma or consequences, our actions have a remarkable way of finding their way back to us.” For thousands of years, cultures around the world have embraced the concept of karma: the belief that the energy we put into… Read More Karma, Consequences and the Neuroscience of Human Behaviour
One of the most difficult questions survivors ask is: “How could someone enjoy causing another person so much pain?” For those who have never experienced coercive control, emotional abuse, or psychological manipulation, the idea that another human being could derive satisfaction from another person’s suffering seems incomprehensible. Yet psychology and neuroscience provide important insights into… Read More The Neuroscience and Psychology of Sadistic Behaviour: Why Cruelty Can Become Addictive
This week has been one of the happiest and most meaningful weeks I have experienced in many years. It was my first full week in my new home. A home that, from the moment I walked through the front door eight months ago, felt as though it was waiting for me. I remember thinking, “This is… Read More Home Is More Than a Place – It’s Where Healing Begins
“He shouldn’t be allowed to get away with it.” Not because they want revenge. Not because they want conflict. But because they believe that accountability protects others. They have witnessed the years of fear, the emotional and physical impact, and the long journey of recovery. They have seen the evidence collected over time and understand… Read More Many of my friends, colleagues and family have said the same thing:
One of the most painful experiences a person can have is finding the courage to ask for help… only to be ignored. The silence can be deafening. For the person reaching out, it can feel like confirmation that they don’t matter. For the person who ignores them, however, the reasons are often far more psychologically… Read More Why Do Some People Ignore a Cry for Help? The Psychology and Neuroscience Behind It
This year, I’ve been to every local fiesta, celebration, concert, and community event in my town. For the first time in many years, I stayed until I wanted to leave. I laughed without looking over my shoulder. I joined in without worrying about being criticised. I enjoyed the music, the atmosphere, and the company without… Read More Freedom Feels Different: The Neuroscience of Living Without Control
One of the most unexpected parts of healing has not been what I see in myself, but what other people see in me. Recently, friends, family, and even people I haven’t seen for a while have been making similar comments. “You look so much more relaxed.” “You seem more confident.” “You’re glowing.” “You smile so… Read More “You Look Different”: The Neuroscience of Finally Feeling Safe
During a conversation this morning, someone said something that resonated deeply with me: “He never wanted you to be happy. He was so miserable with his own life and himself long before he met you that he was determined to destroy any happiness you experienced.” Whether or not we can ever know another person’s true… Read More “He Never Wanted Me to Be Happy”: The Psychology and Neuroscience Behind This Behaviour
For many survivors, divorce is one chapter. A financial settlement is another. Neither of those processes necessarily addresses what happened behind closed doors. Legal matters determine how assets are divided, where people live, and how finances are resolved. They do not automatically acknowledge years of coercive control, emotional abuse, psychological manipulation, intimidation, or violence. For many… Read More Why Having Abuse Recognised Matters: The Psychology and Neuroscience of Acknowledgement
