This year, I am not simply celebrating another birthday. I am celebrating freedom, family, love and the life I am finally able to enjoy.

Having a birthday on Christmas Day has always meant sharing a special date with a time of year when the world seems to be focused on family, giving, traditions and togetherness.

But birthdays are also moments to pause. To look back at the year that has passed, acknowledge how far we have travelled and think about what we want the next chapter to look like.

And this year, something feels very different.

For the first time in a long time, I am approaching Christmas without the shadow of abuse hanging over my life. I am no longer living with the constant emotional strain, fear, uncertainty and control that once shaped so much of my everyday existence.

There is something incredibly precious about being able to wake up, make your own decisions, enjoy your surroundings and feel safe in your own home.

I don’t take that freedom for granted.

This Christmas, I am choosing life

I want this birthday to be about living, not looking back.

I want more mornings that begin naturally, without rushing or feeling that I have to answer to anyone. More time outdoors, swimming, walking by the sea, enjoying the sunshine and appreciating the simple pleasure of being comfortable in my own company.

I want laughter, good conversations, music, friendships, travel, new experiences and the freedom to change my mind.

I want to make plans because they make me happy, not because I feel obliged.

Most importantly, I want to enjoy the things that make life feel worthwhile, without fear, criticism or somebody else’s expectations dictating how I should live.

After spending so many years putting my own needs aside, I am learning that happiness is not selfish. It is something we all deserve.

Family: a gift I will never take for granted

One of the most meaningful differences this year is family.

Having the love and support of family back in the UK means more to me than words can easily express. Time, distance and difficult years can change family relationships, but there is something very special about finding your way back to one another.

I am grateful for the people who have stood beside me, listened, supported me and reminded me that I am not alone.

I cannot recover every missed Christmas, birthday or family occasion. I cannot turn back the clock or reclaim all the years that have passed.

But I can appreciate the opportunities ahead.

I want to make memories, share ordinary moments, laugh together and enjoy being part of family life again. Sometimes the greatest gift is not something wrapped beneath a Christmas tree, but the opportunity to rebuild connections and enjoy the people who matter.

And perhaps, a little room for love

There is another lovely difference this year.

There is someone special in my life, and I am allowing myself to enjoy the possibility of companionship again.

Not because I need someone to complete me, rescue me or make my life worthwhile. I have worked hard to find my independence and I value it enormously.

But life can be even more enjoyable when there is someone to share it with.

Someone to laugh with, have a meal with, explore new places, enjoy shared interests and appreciate the simple things together.

I have learned that love should not come at the expense of your identity, confidence or freedom. It should feel comfortable, kind, consistent and mutual.

There is no need to rush, no need to make promises about tomorrow and no need to lose yourself in another person.

Just the pleasure of getting to know someone, taking things one day at a time and allowing something good to develop naturally.

That feels like a very different place to be.

I am no longer measuring life by what I have lost

Getting older can make us reflect on the years behind us. There may be relationships, opportunities, family moments and experiences that we wish had been different.

I cannot go back and rewrite those years. Nor can I recover every moment that passed while I was concentrating on circumstances beyond my control.

But I can decide what happens next.

I can be compassionate without accepting behaviour that hurts me. I can care about others without abandoning myself. I can welcome people into my life while maintaining the boundaries that protect my happiness.

And I can look forward without needing every detail of the future to be certain.

A different kind of birthday present

Perhaps the greatest present I can give myself this year is permission.

Permission to enjoy my life.

Permission to put myself first sometimes.

Permission to say no without explaining myself.

Permission to reconnect with family.

Permission to welcome love and companionship without sacrificing my independence.

Permission to have fun, be spontaneous and make memories.

I don’t need an elaborate celebration to make this birthday meaningful. It might be a lovely breakfast, a swim, a walk beside the sea, a special dinner or simply spending time with people whose company I genuinely enjoy.

What matters is how I feel.

I want to wake up on Christmas morning knowing that I am free to choose how I spend my day, who I spend it with and what makes me happy.

The year ahead

I don’t have a list of impossible resolutions.

I have something much more valuable: an intention to live consciously.

To look after my physical and emotional wellbeing. To keep learning, exploring and discovering. To nurture relationships that are reciprocal. To enjoy family, friendship and perhaps the beginning of something special.

To protect my peace without closing my heart to new possibilities.

And to remember that happiness doesn’t always arrive as one big, life-changing event. Often, it is found in ordinary moments that we finally allow ourselves to enjoy.

This Christmas Day, I will celebrate another year of life, but I will also celebrate something much bigger: being free from abuse, having the opportunity to enjoy family again, and having room in my life for new friendships, affection and love.

I am not trying to become the person I used to be.

I am looking forward to discovering the person I am becoming.

This year will be different because my life is different.

I am no longer simply surviving. I am living, choosing, connecting and looking forward.

And perhaps the greatest birthday present of all is knowing that the years ahead can be filled with things I once wondered whether I would ever enjoy again.

A little peace, a lot of laughter, family close to my heart and someone special to share some of life’s lovely moments.

That is what I want this Christmas.

And that is what I am looking forward to.