Category: LINDA C J TURNER – Trauma Therapist

Concocting Stories: A New Low

The Potential for Shame and Embarrassment
When faced with irrefutable evidence of their behavior, those who have wronged others may feel shame and embarrassment. However, these emotions only arise if they possess a modicum of self-awareness and decency. For some, the exposure of their actions in a legal setting may serve as a wake-up call, an opportunity to reflect on their choices and perhaps even make amends. For others, it may be met with defensiveness or denial, further cementing their lack of growth.… Read More Concocting Stories: A New Low

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

The Court Case: A Test of Integrity and Humanity

The Absence of Empathy: A Disheartening Reality
Empathy is the cornerstone of human connection. It’s the ability to step into someone else’s shoes and feel their pain as your own. Unfortunately, there are times when this essential quality is glaringly absent. When individuals prioritize their own comfort, image, or narrative over someone else’s genuine suffering, it becomes a stark reminder of their moral shortcomings. The absence of empathy during moments of profound personal difficulty—such as a family crisis—is not easily forgotten. It leaves scars, not just from the original hardship but from the realization that those who could have extended a helping hand chose instead to turn away.… Read More The Court Case: A Test of Integrity and Humanity

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Isolation Tactics

Abusers often employ isolation as one of their most powerful tactics. By convincing their victims to move to an isolated area, or even to another country, they can further cement their control, remove the victim from any external support systems, and reduce the likelihood of detection or intervention from outsiders. The further away the victim is from familiar environments—family, friends, or even cultural norms that might challenge or call attention to the abuse—the easier it becomes for the abuser to maintain their dominance without the scrutiny of others.… Read More Isolation Tactics

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Predatory Abusers

Abusers are indeed often drawn to environments or individuals where they can go unnoticed or operate with little resistance. A culture or family structure that either tolerates or doesn’t intervene in abusive behaviors becomes a breeding ground for this kind of exploitation. The lack of outside intervention, from friends, family, or community, allows the abuser to maintain their power without any real accountability. This is why, in some situations, abuse can be passed down from generation to generation. In some families or cultures, abuse may be normalized or even expected, making it harder for individuals to break free or for others to recognize the signs.

There’s a chilling cycle of control at play, where the abuser deliberately isolates the victim from others who might intervene—whether it’s through gaslighting, creating doubts about the victim’s perceptions, or turning others in the family or community against them. They might even play the victim themselves, ensuring that any suspicions or challenges to their behavior are dismissed. This creates an environment where cruelty and manipulation can thrive without being questioned.… Read More Predatory Abusers

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Change in abusive individuals is rare

Change in abusive individuals is rare, but it’s not entirely out of the question. Acknowledging abuse and engaging in therapeutic change involves a deep, often painful process that requires self-awareness, empathy, and a willingness to fundamentally alter long-established patterns of behavior. In many cases, abusers fail to take responsibility for their actions, which makes rehabilitation unlikely without their active participation. However, when they do take those crucial steps, the chances for change increase—though the path is long and difficult.… Read More Change in abusive individuals is rare

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Financially Motivated Abuse: Why Change Is Rare

Deep-Seated Entitlement:
Financial abusers often feel entitled to control their partner’s resources, believing they deserve access to money, assets, or even their partner’s labor. This entitlement is difficult to unlearn without significant self-awareness and effort.

Reinforcement of Behavior:
If financial abuse has historically provided the abuser with success (e.g., maintaining control, achieving material gain), they’re less likely to see it as wrong or feel compelled to change.

Lack of Genuine Accountability:
Financial abusers often rationalize their behavior as necessary or justified. Without acknowledging the harm caused, true change becomes nearly impossible.

Cultural and Societal Norms:
In some cases, cultural or societal norms around money and gender roles may enable financial abuse. These norms can make the abuser feel validated, further reducing the likelihood of change… Read More Financially Motivated Abuse: Why Change Is Rare

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

The cycle of abuse will repeat

The Honeymoon Phase:
Initially, the abuser often presents as charming, attentive, and ideal. This “love-bombing” phase is designed to quickly build emotional dependence and trust. For some, this period lasts weeks or months before cracks begin to show.

Signs of Control:
Abusers tend to reveal their controlling tendencies subtly at first—dictating small decisions, isolating their partner from friends, or using passive-aggressive comments. These early behaviors often appear within a few months.

Trigger Points:
Abuse frequently reemerges when the abuser feels a loss of control. This can happen during disagreements, when the partner asserts independence, or if the relationship deepens and expectations shift.… Read More The cycle of abuse will repeat

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

The Facade of Fairness: How Abusers Continue to Manipulate Post-Divorce

The Public Persona vs. The Hidden Reality

Abusers are adept at creating a facade that portrays them as reasonable, loving, or even the victim. To friends, family, and the broader community, they present themselves as someone who simply wants the best for their ex-partner and family. They use this image to gain sympathy and discredit any accusations of wrongdoing.

However, behind closed doors, their actions paint a very different picture. These individuals lie, manipulate, and sabotage in ways that are often invisible to outsiders. Their covert schemes may include financial ruin, emotional destabilization, or attempts to alienate their former partner from mutual connections.… Read More The Facade of Fairness: How Abusers Continue to Manipulate Post-Divorce

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment