“Get Over It” Is Not Healing—Healthy Families Break the Cycle

Children and grandchildren learn far more from what they observe than from what they are told. Neuroscience and psychology consistently show that young people develop their understanding of relationships by watching the adults around them. When families remain trapped in anger, resentment, hostility, and unresolved conflict for years or even decades, the next generation absorbs… Read More “Get Over It” Is Not Healing—Healthy Families Break the Cycle

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When Children Are Drawn Into Abuse and Coercive Control

One of the most damaging aspects of domestic abuse is when children or grandchildren become involved in adult conflicts. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, placing children in the middle of abusive dynamics can have lasting psychological consequences. Triangulation occurs when a third person—often a child—is drawn into a conflict between adults. This can involve carrying messages, taking… Read More When Children Are Drawn Into Abuse and Coercive Control

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Triangulation

Using a child or grandchild to conceal, excuse, or distract from abusive behaviour is deeply troubling. Children should never be placed in the middle of adult conflict or used to protect someone’s reputation or avoid accountability. Psychologists recognise this as a form of triangulation—bringing a third person, often a child, into a conflict to influence, manipulate,… Read More Triangulation

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Five Moves. One Pattern. The Neuroscience and Psychology of Carrying Everything Alone.

As I prepare for my fifth and final move, I’m struck by something I hadn’t fully appreciated before. I’ve spent decades moving homes. But more than that… I’ve spent decades moving almost entirely on my own. The first move was into his house. The second was into the home I bought myself. While I packed… Read More Five Moves. One Pattern. The Neuroscience and Psychology of Carrying Everything Alone.

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Three Boxes of Self-Help Books: Thirty Years Spent Trying to Fix a Marriage That Was Never Mine to Fix

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

As I prepare for my final move, I have been sorting through decades of paperwork. Among the boxes were three large cartons filled with self-help books. Books on relationships. Communication. Trauma. Psychology. Neuroscience. Emotional intelligence. Attachment theory. Mindfulness. Marriage. Forgiveness. Conflict resolution. Thousands upon thousands of pages. Three decades of searching for answers. Three decades… Read More Three Boxes of Self-Help Books: Thirty Years Spent Trying to Fix a Marriage That Was Never Mine to Fix

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When will people understand?

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

When will people understand? It’s not what you say.It’s not the promises you make.It’s not the image you try to project. It’s how you behave. It’s how you treat people when no one else is watching. Kindness.Respect.Honesty.Empathy.Patience.Laughter.Compassion.Consistency. These are the qualities that build trust and create lasting relationships. Empty words, broken promises, manipulation, threats, control,… Read More When will people understand?

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Keep the faith

Everything is unfolding exactly as it should in my life. Not because every chapter has been easy, but because every experience has taught me something I needed to learn. The challenges built resilience. The losses created space for new beginnings. The uncertainty led me to trust myself. Today, I choose gratitude over regret, peace over… Read More Keep the faith

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Financial wealth and emotional wealth are not the same thing

Someone may spend years criticizing other people for being obsessed with money or status, only to become preoccupied with those very things themselves. Psychologists sometimes refer to this as a form of psychological projection or defensive self-enhancement—criticizing in others what one is uncomfortable acknowledging in oneself. However, it’s important not to assume this explanation applies to any specific… Read More Financial wealth and emotional wealth are not the same thing

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