This is a powerful subject, particularly because children don’t learn emotional resilience from watching adults pretend that nothing hurts. They learn it by watching adults experience difficult emotions and handle them safely. There is an important distinction between healthy vulnerability and making a child responsible for an adult’s emotional wellbeing. A parent doesn’t need to tell a child… Read More Healthy vulnerability
Imagine a school where children aren’t only taught how to solve mathematical problems, read books and pass examinations. Imagine a school where they are also taught how to understand another person’s feelings. How to recognise fear behind anger. How to notice when somebody is withdrawing. How to listen without immediately judging. How to disagree without… Read More What If We Taught Empathy as Seriously as We Teach Mathematics?
What happened tonight sounds significant. The Guardia Civil were able to see your circumstances for themselves rather than relying solely on what they had previously been told. They could see that you were living alone, safely, in a small apartment, and that the reality in front of them did not fit a narrative about you being… Read More Guardia Civil
Constantly checking someone’s social media, WhatsApp, phone calls, emails, location and movements can become a pattern of coercive control and surveillance. Psychology and neuroscience help explain why someone may do it, but they do not excuse it. What can be happening psychologically? 1. Fear of losing control For some controlling people, uncertainty is extremely uncomfortable.… Read More Control and surveillance
If you believe you can keep a relationship safe by controlling your partner, controlling the money, restricting their choices or making them financially dependent on you, you haven’t created security. You’ve created control. A healthy relationship isn’t held together by fear of financial consequences. It isn’t protected by making sure your partner has nowhere to… Read More Keeping Your Relationship Safe Through Control and Money? Really?
There is an old saying: “What goes around comes around.” Some people call it karma. Others call it consequences. Some simply say, “It will come back to bite you.” Whatever you call it, there is something about life that makes dishonesty, betrayal and cruelty difficult to outrun forever. Not necessarily because some mysterious force is… Read More What You Put Into the World Has a Habit of Finding Its Way Back
There is something deeply unsettling about discovering that the person you trusted was not the person you believed them to be. Perhaps they went to church. Perhaps they prayed. Perhaps they spoke about God, morality, marriage and forgiveness. Perhaps other people saw them as a good, respectable, religious person. And perhaps you believed that too.… Read More When Religion Becomes a Cover for Betrayal
Just because someone believes in God doesn’t mean they won’t cheat. It doesn’t mean they will automatically be faithful, honest, kind or trustworthy. People can go to church, pray, quote scripture, talk about morality and still lie to their partner. They can present themselves as deeply religious while secretly having affairs. They can talk about… Read More Believing in God Doesn’t Make Someone Incapable of Cheating
Some people hide behind religion while supporting behaviour that has nothing to do with compassion, honesty, kindness or integrity. They speak about morality, yet excuse abuse. They talk about forgiveness, yet expect victims to tolerate mistreatment. They preach about marriage and commitment, yet encourage or excuse adultery when it suits them. They quote scripture when… Read More When Religion Becomes a Shield for Hypocrisy
Age-gap relationships are becoming more common off-screen, too For decades, Hollywood had a very clear idea of what an age-gap relationship was supposed to look like. The man was older. The woman was younger. And nobody seemed particularly surprised. Older male actors could continue playing romantic leads well into their 60s, 70s and beyond, often… Read More Hollywood’s Latest Obsession: Older Women and Younger Men
