Author: Linda C J Turner

Linda CJ Turner Trauma & Relationship Specialist | Neuroscience & Emotional Regulation | Women 45+ | Emotional Abuse & Coercive Control Recovery You survived it. Now it’s time to heal from it.

A Hidden Human Rights Violation

When an adult refuses to care for their own elderly alcoholic relative and instead coerces a teenage boy into assuming this role, it reflects a profound moral and legal failure. Teenagers, who should be focusing on their education, personal development, and enjoying their formative years, are instead burdened with responsibilities far beyond their capacity and appropriate developmental stage.

Caring for an elderly person with alcoholism is an exceptionally challenging task that demands emotional resilience, physical endurance, and psychological strength—qualities that are still developing in teenagers. The stress and strain of such responsibilities can lead to severe emotional and mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and burnout.… Read More A Hidden Human Rights Violation

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Breaking Someones Spirit

The use of other relatives or associates to follow the victim adds another layer of intimidation and control. This form of stalking creates a pervasive sense of being watched, further instilling fear and helplessness. The victim, already grappling with the immense burden of unpaid caregiving and constant phone surveillance, now faces the additional stress of being physically monitored.

This kind of stalking is not just a violation of privacy; it is a deliberate tactic to break the victim’s spirit and will. It reinforces the victim’s belief that escape is impossible and that their every move is being scrutinized.… Read More Breaking Someones Spirit

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Threats and Intimidation by the abuser

Removing Important Documents: Taking away essential documents like IDs, birth certificates, or financial records to prevent the victim from escaping or accessing resources.

Defacing and Damaging Passports: Damaging passports or other travel documents to prevent the victim from leaving the country or even the immediate area.

Taking Belongings: Confiscating personal items, such as phones, laptops, or sentimental belongings, to further isolate the victim and reduce their ability to communicate or seek help.… Read More Threats and Intimidation by the abuser

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Silencing victims and whistleblowers

Minimization and Rationalization: Perpetrators and sometimes bystanders may downplay or rationalize abusive actions. Phrases like “it’s not that bad” or “they didn’t mean it” can undermine the severity of abuse and prevent appropriate intervention.

Turning a Blind Eye: Individuals or institutions may ignore or overlook signs of abuse due to discomfort, fear of repercussions, or a desire to maintain appearances. This inaction can perpetuate cycles of abuse.

Victim Blaming: Blaming the victim for the abuse they endure shifts responsibility away from the perpetrator. Statements such as “they provoked it” or “they should have known better” undermine the victim’s experience and discourage them from seeking help.

Complicity through Silence: Choosing to remain silent or neutral in the face of abuse can inadvertently support the abusive dynamics by allowing them to continue unchallenged.… Read More Silencing victims and whistleblowers

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Perspecticide and Percepticide

Perspecticide refers to the phenomenon where an individual’s perspective on reality is systematically undermined or controlled by another person or group. This term is often used in contexts of abusive relationships, cults, or authoritarian regimes where individuals are manipulated into adopting a distorted view of reality.

In abusive relationships, for example, the abuser may gradually erode the victim’s sense of self and reality. They might gaslight the victim, causing them to doubt their perceptions, memories, and even sanity. Over time, the victim’s understanding of what is true and real becomes heavily influenced by the abuser’s narrative. This process of perspecticide is a defense mechanism the mind employs to maintain a semblance of psychological stability in the face of extreme psychological pressure.… Read More Perspecticide and Percepticide

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When the abused becomes the abuser

Internalization of Abuse: Victims of abuse may internalize the abusive behaviors they experienced, seeing them as normal or justified. This normalization can lead them to replicate similar behaviors towards others.

Empowerment through Control: Some individuals who have felt powerless in their own lives may seek to regain a sense of control or power by exerting dominance over others through abusive behavior.

Lack of Empathy: Trauma and adverse experiences can sometimes erode a person’s ability to empathize with others’ pain or suffering, making it easier for them to inflict harm without feeling remorse.… Read More When the abused becomes the abuser

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Classic Signs of Psychological Abuse

Isolation: Abusers often try to isolate their victims from friends, family, or support networks. They may criticize or undermine the victim’s relationships, making them feel dependent solely on the abuser for validation and companionship.

Control: This can manifest in various ways, such as controlling finances, daily activities, or even what the victim wears or does. The abuser may impose strict rules and use threats or intimidation to enforce compliance.

Verbal abuse: This includes insults, constant criticism, humiliation, or name-calling. Verbal abuse chips away at the victim’s self-esteem and sense of self-worth.… Read More Classic Signs of Psychological Abuse

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