Tag: writing

The Psychology of the Last-Minute Box: When a Pile of Belongings Tells a Bigger Story

Sometimes It’s Never About the Stuff A few jackets. An old camera. Some CDs. Fishing equipment. A pair of sunglasses. On paper, it’s just a list of forgotten possessions. But to the person who has spent months or years carrying the emotional and practical weight of a relationship, that forgotten pile can represent something much… Read More The Psychology of the Last-Minute Box: When a Pile of Belongings Tells a Bigger Story

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The Wedding Was Quick. The Control Lasted Thirty-Two Years.

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

People look at the wedding photograph and ask the same question. “Why the rush?” Why a whirlwind wedding in Las Vegas? Why get married just before moving to France? Why sell your own secure home which took years to buy, give-up a successful career, financial independence, family and lifelong friends so quickly? For years, I… Read More The Wedding Was Quick. The Control Lasted Thirty-Two Years.

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The Past Doesn’t Always Stay in the Past

For years, survivors have carried an impossible burden. “Why didn’t you know?” “Why didn’t you leave?” “Didn’t you see the signs?” The truth is that many abusers do not introduce themselves as violent. They introduce themselves as charming, attentive, generous, funny, and devoted. The coercive control often begins quietly and escalates over time. A publicly… Read More The Past Doesn’t Always Stay in the Past

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You Only Realise How Bad It Was Once You’re Free

People keep saying the same thing to me. “You look different.” “You seem so much more relaxed.” “You’re smiling more.” “You’ve found your voice.” At first, I didn’t know what they meant. Then I realised they weren’t seeing a new version of me. They were seeing the version that had been buried for years. Abuse… Read More You Only Realise How Bad It Was Once You’re Free

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Welcome to Online Dating… Where Everyone Is Apparently a Brain Surgeon

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

Remember when meeting someone meant bumping into them in a café or being introduced by a friend? Now it starts with a profile that reads: “6’4″, Michelin-star chef, part-time brain surgeon, RAF pilot, property developer, model, philanthropist and dog whisperer.” Really? If dating apps reflected real life, every hospital in the country would have closed… Read More Welcome to Online Dating… Where Everyone Is Apparently a Brain Surgeon

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Hope the Next One Has Deep Pockets

Some people dream of finding true love. Others dream of finding someone with a detached house, healthy pension, paid-off car, inheritance on the horizon and absolutely no understanding of financial boundaries. It’s a different kind of soulmate. Their personal motto? “If it’s going for free, I’ll have two.” Someone offers to pay?“How generous!” Someone offers… Read More Hope the Next One Has Deep Pockets

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The Hidden Confession: When Private Regret and Public Image Don’t Match

“He could never have done those things. He’s such a nice man.” These are some of the most painful words survivors of coercive control and emotional abuse hear. Friends, family and neighbours often judge a person by the version they see: charming, funny, generous and helpful. Meanwhile, behind closed doors, another reality exists—one known only… Read More The Hidden Confession: When Private Regret and Public Image Don’t Match

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Fake Kindness: When Goodness Is a Performance

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

History and everyday life are full of people who appeared charming, generous and respectable while privately causing harm. Psychologists sometimes refer to this as impression management—carefully controlling how others see you while behaving very differently behind closed doors. Fake kindness is not simply being polite. It is kindness with an agenda: to gain admiration, control, power… Read More Fake Kindness: When Goodness Is a Performance

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