If you discover that someone has a criminal conviction for domestic violence, take it seriously. Don’t allow anyone to minimise it or explain it away with familiar phrases such as: “She made it up.” “She’s unstable.” “She’s bitter.” “She’s only after money.” “It was just a messy divorce.” “There are two sides to every story.”… Read More Never Ignore a History of Domestic Violence
Beginning a new relationship should be exciting, but it is also important to protect yourself. If something doesn’t feel right, trust your instincts. You have every right to ask questions, take things slowly, and make informed decisions about your safety. Many people don’t realise that in some countries there are official schemes that allow you… Read More Starting a New Relationship? Here’s How You Can Check if Your New Partner Has a History of Domestic Abuse
There is something I want people to understand. When someone says they are leaving an abusive relationship, please don’t respond with: “Lots of people get divorced.” “It’s irreconcilable differences.” “Put the house on the market.” “Sell the property and move on.” Because for many survivors, it was never simply a marriage that failed. It was… Read More “It’s Not Just a Divorce. It’s the End of Surviving.”
I recently found old notes filled with promises, declarations of love, apologies, and hope. Years ago, I would have treasured them. Today, they mean nothing. Not because the words themselves were unkind, but because they were never consistently reflected in actions. Words have power only when they are backed by behaviour. Anyone can say, “I love… Read More When Words Become Meaningless
While unpacking boxes after my move, I came across some handwritten notes from my former husband. They read: “I will always love you.” “You are the only one I ever wanted.” “You never deserved it. I am sorry.” I paused for a long time. If those words were true, why were they followed by years… Read More When Words and Actions Don’t Match
For the first time in many years, I feel calm. I feel loved. I feel peaceful. After months of endless paperwork, legal documents, bills, and administrative tasks that often seemed unnecessary, I have finally reached a place where I can simply breathe. The silence is no longer uncomfortable—it is healing. People often ask me whether… Read More Peace Is Priceless: Why Some Divorces Cost Far More Than Money
For many survivors of domestic abuse, one question can be deeply unsettling: “What happens when my restraining order ends?” Many fear that the end of a court order means the end of their protection. Fortunately, that is not always the case. Protection Does Not Automatically End In Spain, the expiry of a restraining order does not… Read More What Happens After a Restraining Order Ends in Spain?
One of the most difficult questions survivors ask is: “How could someone enjoy causing another person so much pain?” For those who have never experienced coercive control, emotional abuse, or psychological manipulation, the idea that another human being could derive satisfaction from another person’s suffering seems incomprehensible. Yet psychology and neuroscience provide important insights into… Read More The Neuroscience and Psychology of Sadistic Behaviour: Why Cruelty Can Become Addictive
When I began documenting what had happened to me, I made a promise to myself. No stone would be left unturned. Every document would be preserved. Every photograph. Every medical record. Every psychological assessment. Every email. Every text message. Every WhatsApp conversation. Every witness. Every piece of evidence. If it is relevant, it deserves to… Read More No Stone Left Unturned
One of the biggest misconceptions about domestic abuse is that once the divorce is final and the financial settlement has been agreed, everything is over. It isn’t. A divorce legally ends a marriage. A financial settlement divides assets and resolves financial claims between spouses. Neither necessarily addresses the physical, emotional or psychological harm caused by… Read More Can You Still Take Your Abuse Case to Court After the Divorce and Financial Settlement?
