Category: LINDA C J TURNER – Trauma Therapist

When People Become Their Own Obstacle: The Psychology of Self-Sabotage

At a certain point, behaviour stops being confusing and starts being revealing. There are situations where someone pushes relentlessly for an outcome over a long period of time — creating pressure, urgency, and expectation — only to block or undermine that same outcome the moment it finally arrives. From the outside, it looks irrational. But… Read More When People Become Their Own Obstacle: The Psychology of Self-Sabotage

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Final Thought

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

At a certain point, this stops looking like strategy — and starts looking like incompetence. Relentlessly pushing for a sale, only to refuse to sign when a full asking price offer arrives, is not a power move. It is a complete collapse of credibility. Because serious people recognise opportunity — and act on it. They… Read More Final Thought

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When Control Overrides Logic: The Psychology Behind Property Sale Sabotage

From the outside, it looks irrational. A property has been pushed onto the market for months. Pressure builds. Urgency is created. Deadlines are imposed. The message is consistent: we must sell, and we must sell now. Then, finally, the outcome arrives — a full asking price offer. And yet… the deal stalls. No signature. No movement.… Read More When Control Overrides Logic: The Psychology Behind Property Sale Sabotage

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Common real-life solution (international cases)

1. 🇪🇸 Spain divorce + UK pension claim separately Divorce and property settled in Spain Then apply in UK court for financial remedy (including pension sharing) 2. 🇬🇧 Full UK financial proceedings (if possible) Sometimes it is better to bring the whole financial case into UK jurisdiction This allows a clean Pension Sharing Order in… Read More Common real-life solution (international cases)

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On Staying the Course: When Delay Stops Being a Distraction

There comes a point in any long, high-friction process where something quietly shifts. Not in the situation itself — but in perspective. What once felt urgent, reactive, and emotionally charged begins to look more structured. Less personal. More mechanical. A sequence rather than a story. The Cost of Constant Delay In extended negotiation or legal… Read More On Staying the Course: When Delay Stops Being a Distraction

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Act Five: The Family Waiting Room Effect

And then there is another layer that rarely gets mentioned: the people orbiting the process. In many long-running negotiations, there is a secondary field of pressure — family members, advisors, or stakeholders who are not directly negotiating, but are still emotionally invested in the outcome. They are not driving the process, but they are affected… Read More Act Five: The Family Waiting Room Effect

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The Negotiation Circus: A Case Study in the Moving Goalpost Effect

There are negotiations that feel structured, linear, and predictable. And then there are negotiations that feel like: “Yes 👍 … just kidding 🙂 … actually no … wait yes … but also no … but let’s revisit this later.” Welcome to the circus. Act One: The Confident “Yes” The opening act is always smooth. “Yes,… Read More The Negotiation Circus: A Case Study in the Moving Goalpost Effect

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The Art of the Moving Goalposts: Or, How “Yes” Became a Full-Time Fiction

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

There is a particular species of negotiation where words like “yes” and “agreement” exist… but only in theory. In practice, they behave more like quantum particles: they exist they don’t exist they exist again if observed then immediately collapse under new conditions Step One: The Initial “Yes” At first, everything is simple. “Yes, we agree.”“Yes, that works.”“Yes, let’s proceed.”… Read More The Art of the Moving Goalposts: Or, How “Yes” Became a Full-Time Fiction

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High-conflict negotiations or controlling interpersonal dynamics.

A few relevant concepts: 1. Coercive control (behavioural pattern, not a diagnosis)This is when one party keeps influence over another by creating uncertainty, dependency, or repeated disruption of progress. In practical terms it can look like: moving deadlines repeatedly requiring new conditions before agreeing delaying decisions even when agreement seems possible keeping the other party… Read More High-conflict negotiations or controlling interpersonal dynamics.

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