If you receive information or concerns that are distressing or unsettling, it is appropriate to pause and prioritise your own wellbeing. Discuss the situation with your psychologist or mental health professional, particularly if it triggers fear, stress, or past trauma. Their role is to support emotional regulation, clarity, and recovery — not to investigate or… Read More Focus on Healing
When you report concerns, not accusations, and you do it through the proper channels, you are generally protected. Why reporting is safer than staying silent Authorities expect third-party reports — they rely on them. You are not responsible for proving anything. You are not accusing — you are passing on information so trained professionals can assess risk. Silence protects abusers; reporting transfers… Read More You are usually not in danger for reporting — especially if you do it correctly
Step 1: Receive the report Accept the letter or notice from a third party calmly. Do not confront the person or any other witnesses. Keep the original letter secure. Step 2: Assess immediate danger Yes: Contact police or child protection immediately. No: Proceed to documentation. Step 3: Document facts Who reported it Dates, times, locations Specific behaviours observed… Read More Safe Reporting Plan: Adult Behaviour
From a third party, first wife, or someone your ex knows Could be formal (letter/email) or informal (verbal) Yes: Contact police / child protection immediately No: Proceed to documentation Record: who reported, when, where, what was observed Include pattern or repetition if mentioned Do not add assumptions, opinions, or interpretations Do not confront your ex Do not try to intervene directly… Read More Decision Flow: Responding to Reports About Suspicious Behaviour Around Minors
Here’s guidance on when not to get directly involved if you receive a report or notice concerning someone stalking or watching young children: 1. Do not confront the person Never approach your ex (or the suspected individual) directly. Confrontation may escalate the situation or put children, yourself, or the reporter at risk. 2. Do not investigate on your own… Read More Receiver, recorder, and reporter
If someone who knows your ex well sends you a letter describing concerns about your ex’s behaviour, here’s how to handle it safely and appropriately: 1. Treat it as information, not evidence The letter is a report of concern, not proof of wrongdoing. Avoid acting on assumptions or confronting your ex. Keep your response neutral and professional. 2. Read… Read More Receiver and recorder, not investigator
It depends on intent, behaviour, and pattern, but persistent watching of children is a major red flag and can fall under criminal behaviour, even before physical contact. When “watching” becomes a concern It is not normal for an adult to: Repeatedly watch specific children Follow children or linger where they play without a clear, legitimate reason Observe children in secretive ways Focus attention… Read More Stalking or watching young children — what is it?
What it is:A deliberate process where an adult (or older youth) builds trust with a child to prepare them for sexual exploitation. How it happens: Giving attention, gifts, compliments, or “special” status Pretending to be a friend, mentor, or romantic interest Slowly crossing boundaries (sexual talk, secrecy, “don’t tell”) Normalising sexual content or behaviour Isolating the child from… Read More Grooming of minors
“What you never had, you don’t miss.”No anger.No nostalgia.Just accuracy.
Normal” is a myth invented by people with too much free time. My version: surviving life, laughing at everything that should probably make me cry, and occasionally pretending I have my stuff together. Spoiler: it works better than pretending to be normal ever did.
