Category: COERCIVE CONTROL

Coercive control refers to a pattern of abusive behavior in which one person uses various tactics to dominate, manipulate, and control another person, typically within an intimate or familial relationship. Unlike physical abuse, coercive control primarily relies on psychological, emotional, and sometimes economic tactics to exert power and control over the victim. This form of abuse is often insidious and can have profound and long-lasting effects on the victim’s well-being.

Enough

Abusers or manipulative individuals often rely on the assumption that you’ll never truly leave or stand up for yourself. They might think you’re bluffing because you’ve stayed through so much already—so they don’t believe this time will be any different. In their mind, your past patterns of endurance, compliance, or forgiveness may be a signal that you’re incapable of taking action to remove yourself from the situation, or that you’re somehow still tied to them emotionally or financially. Essentially, they’ve convinced themselves that they hold all the power.

Another reason they might think you’re bluffing is that abusers often live in a state of denial about their behavior. They’ve spent years dismissing your pain, manipulating your feelings, and controlling the situation. So when you finally reach your breaking point, it challenges the delusion they’ve created that the dynamic will never change. To acknowledge that you’ve truly had enough would require them to take responsibility for their actions, something they’re often unwilling or incapable of doing. As a result, they downplay your decision, convincing themselves that you’ll “come to your senses” and return to the status quo.… Read More Enough

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Shattered Self-Worth and Identity

Despite all of the painful emotions that come with the fallout of long-term abuse, there is also the potential for healing. After 30 years, breaking free from an abusive situation is an act of immense courage. It signals that, somewhere deep down, the survivor still holds onto a sense of worth, a belief that they deserve better. It’s from this small but powerful spark that healing can begin.… Read More Shattered Self-Worth and Identity

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Self serving relationships

When someone only helps others, even their own family, when there is something to gain, it reveals a deeply self-serving approach to relationships. This kind of behavior can be incredibly hurtful and destabilizing, especially in families where there’s an expectation of mutual care and support. The essence of relationships, particularly within families, is rooted in… Read More Self serving relationships

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Understanding Narcissism and the Need to Protect the Self-Image

Cognitive Dissonance: Narcissists experience cognitive dissonance when their actions don’t align with their self-image as a good, powerful, or perfect person. To resolve this inner conflict, they will distort the facts, deny responsibility, or rewrite the narrative to maintain their sense of superiority. They cannot tolerate the thought of being seen as flawed or at fault, so they manipulate the situation to fit a version that aligns with their ideal self.

Shame Avoidance: Beneath their grandiosity, narcissists often carry a deep sense of shame, though they rarely acknowledge or show it. This shame is so profound that they do everything they can to avoid facing it. Admitting to violent or abusive behavior would trigger that shame, and to protect themselves from this overwhelming feeling, they dismiss the incident as trivial or deny it altogether.… Read More Understanding Narcissism and the Need to Protect the Self-Image

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Friends and Family

The consequences for friends and family who are caught up in criminal activities can be severe, both legally and personally. While they might face charges if proven complicit, the aftermath often involves a deep emotional and social toll on relationships and family stability. Those who willingly participated in the crime are held accountable by the law, but even those who only supported the individual in minor ways may have to deal with the emotional burden and social judgment that follows.… Read More Friends and Family

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Understanding the “Victim Card” Tactic

Invalidate the Complaints Against Them: By asserting that they are mentally distressed, they can undermine the legitimacy of the accusations against them. They may argue that they are too fragile or vulnerable to face these criticisms, suggesting that any attempts to hold them accountable are cruel or unfair. Manipulate Empathy and Compassion: They rely on the fact that people tend to be compassionate toward those who are struggling with mental health issues. By framing themselves as mentally unwell or vulnerable, they hope to gain sympathy and support from others, making it harder for people to confront them or criticize their behavior.Justify Their Behavior: Toxic individuals may use mental health as a justification for their harmful actions, suggesting that their behavior was a result of stress, anxiety, depression, or another condition. This approach allows them to excuse their actions by implying that they had no control over their behavior and that they, too, are victims of their own minds. Deflect Blame and Avoid Accountability: By focusing on their own supposed suffering, they attempt to divert attention away from the harm they have caused to others. The conversation then shifts from what they did wrong to how others are treating them unfairly in light of their mental health struggles.… Read More Understanding the “Victim Card” Tactic

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Challenge Negative Beliefs

Experiencing toxic behaviors like intercepting phone calls, smear campaigns, emotional blackmail, stalking, monitoring, and spying can have a profound and often devastating impact on a person’s mental, emotional, and physical well-being. These behaviors are forms of psychological abuse and manipulation, intended to control, intimidate, or undermine the target. The effects of such invasive and controlling actions can be long-lasting and far-reaching, influencing every aspect of a person’s life.… Read More Challenge Negative Beliefs

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Name and Shame

Holding them accountable: Toxic people rarely take responsibility for their actions. Naming and shaming them publicly forces a level of accountability they are often unprepared to face. It confronts them with the reality of their behavior and the impact it has on others.

Deterring future behavior: Publicly calling out manipulative and harmful actions can act as a deterrent, not only for the individual involved but also for others who might be tempted to engage in similar tactics. It sends a clear message that their behavior won’t be tolerated or overlooked.… Read More Name and Shame

Linda C J Turner1 Comment

Toxic Games

A mindset rooted in insecurity, manipulation, and control. People who go to the lengths of infiltrating WhatsApp calls, diverting communications, and creating fake social media profiles with the intent to sabotage someone’s business typically have underlying psychological and emotional issues driving their actions. Let’s break down some possible motivations and mentalities behind this behavior:… Read More Toxic Games

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment