Healthy space-taking vs avoidant withdrawal 

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment

Here’s a clear 0–24 hour post-intimacy timeline showing how healthy space-taking vs avoidant withdrawal typically unfolds in psychology and neuroscience. 🕒 0–2 hours after sex (immediate aftermath) 🟢 Healthy regulation Body is in a calm-down phase Oxytocin, dopamine, prolactin shift toward rest relaxed sleepy affectionate but quiet cuddling or gentle closeness or simply “I’m tired but I feel good” 👉 Internal message:… Read More  Healthy space-taking vs avoidant withdrawal 

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Self-regulation after closeness

The distinction matters a lot because the behaviour can look identical on the surface, but the internal state and relationship outcome are very different. Here’s how psychology typically separates them: 1) Healthy “needing space” This is self-regulation after closeness, not rejection. Internal state “I feel full / tired / overstimulated” “I like you, I just need to reset”… Read More Self-regulation after closeness

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 Post-intimacy nervous system shift

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment

When someone withdraws after intense sex, psychology usually treats it less as “self-destruction” and more as a post-intimacy nervous system shift. It can look sudden, but there are several well-studied mechanisms behind it. 1. Nervous system “drop” after high arousal Sex—especially intense or emotionally charged sex—activates strong arousal systems in the brain (dopamine, adrenaline, oxytocin). After… Read More  Post-intimacy nervous system shift

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Self-destruct button

In relationships, the “self-destruct button” usually shows up as a very specific pattern: things are going well, then suddenly something inside flips and you either pull away, create conflict, or emotionally shut down. In neuroscience and psychology, this isn’t random—it’s a predictable stress response shaped by learning, attachment, and threat processing. What’s happening in the brain… Read More Self-destruct button

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The neuroscience of self-destruction

AmygdalaYour amygdala is your brain’s alarm system. If something feels emotionally threatening (rejection, intimacy, success, failure), it can trigger fight, flight, freeze, or fawn — even when there’s no actual danger. Example: things are going well in a relationship → suddenly you pick a fight or pull away. Prefrontal CortexThis is your “wise adult” brain — logic,… Read More The neuroscience of self-destruction

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When People Sabotage Their Own Relationships: A Neuroscience and Psychology Perspective

One of the most painful things people experience is watching themselves — or someone they love — damage a relationship they deeply wanted. They may say: “Why did I push them away?” “Why did I start an argument when things were going well?” “Why do I pull back when someone gets close?” This is often… Read More When People Sabotage Their Own Relationships: A Neuroscience and Psychology Perspective

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Understanding Why It Took So Long: What 18 Months of Therapy Can Reveal

Many people come to therapy asking a simple question: “Why did I stay so long?”“Why did I not see it sooner?”“Why did I doubt myself?” These questions often carry shame, confusion, or frustration. But over time, therapy rarely delivers a dramatic single answer. Instead, it reveals something quieter — and more accurate. Understanding begins to… Read More Understanding Why It Took So Long: What 18 Months of Therapy Can Reveal

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🎾 “He Thought Every Woman Wanted Him on the Padel Court”

There are many types of confidence in the world. Quiet confidence. Earned confidence. Competent confidence. And then… there is padel court confidence. This is a very specific category. 🧠 The psychology of misplaced certainty He genuinely seemed to believe something quite remarkable: that every woman on the padel court was, in fact, emotionally invested in him.… Read More 🎾 “He Thought Every Woman Wanted Him on the Padel Court”

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😳 “You Weren’t Expecting That, Were You?”

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

The Photo That Changed the Entire Conversation There are moments in life that permanently alter group dynamics. This was one of them. It started innocently enough: “Can we see a photo of him?” A simple request. Harmless. Curiosity wrapped in politeness. And for a brief second, I considered refusing on ethical grounds, emotional safety grounds,… Read More 😳 “You Weren’t Expecting That, Were You?”

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🧠 Why “empty words” feel so powerful (and so damaging)

Something many people only fully understand after repeated relational harm — and it makes sense that it leaves a very strong emotional imprint. From a psychological and neuroscience perspective, the gap between verbal reassurance and behavioural reality. The brain is built to seek safety through connection. When someone says the right things, it activates expectations of safety and… Read More 🧠 Why “empty words” feel so powerful (and so damaging)

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