This is called an extinction burst in neuroscience and behavioural psychology. It happens when a behaviour that used to work suddenly stops working. 1️⃣ The Brain Detects Reward Loss When a survivor enforces boundaries or goes silent, the abuser’s brain experiences: loss of regulation loss of dopamine reward loss of control confirmation 🧠 The brain registers: “My usual… Read More Why Some Abusers Escalate Once More Before Stopping
If a lawyer has been struck off and convicted to the point of imprisonment, and the family continues to rely on their advice or influence, it raises both legal and protective concerns. Here’s what to know and how to approach it safely: 1. Understand the Risk No legal authority: A lawyer in prison cannot provide valid legal advice. Potential… Read More Inform Your Lawyer Immediately
“Once someone is willing to lie under oath, the relationship is already dead.” Here’s why — grounded in neuroscience, psychology, and ethics: Why Lying Under Oath Kills a Relationship Permanently 1. It Destroys the Brain’s Safety Model The human attachment system relies on one core question: “Is this person fundamentally safe and truthful?” Lying under oath… Read More “Once someone is willing to lie under oath, the relationship is already dead.”
Dating apps aren’t inherently bad — but they are highly efficient environments for deception. They allow people to present a carefully curated version of themselves with very little accountability, history, or social consequence. And that creates opportunity — not just for romance, but for manipulation. Who Thrives on Dating Apps (and Why) Dating apps are especially attractive… Read More The Hidden Dangers of Dating Apps: Con Men, Pretenders, and Emotional Fraud
What Those Statements Actually Are Examples: “You only ever do things 70%” “You are shit for brains” “Your family are dysfunctional” These are NOT: Healthy honesty Assertive communication Constructive feedback These ARE: Unfiltered emotional discharge Global attacks on identity Verbal abuse when repeated or used to dominate, shame, or control Why This Is Not Just “Unfiltered Honesty” 1. They Target Identity, Not… Read More Aggressive Communication
As I prepare for divorce, I have had to replace every single legal document I need.Passports, certificates, records — all of the originals were taken long ago. They were kept in a briefcase I was never allowed to open or touch.Money and documents stored away before we were even married. On the surface, this looks like administration.Psychologically, it… Read More Reclaiming the Paperwork — and the Truth
This year, I am not missing Christmas. I am missing decades of abuse disguised as tradition. I am missing the lies, the isolation, the sabotage, and the deliberate cruelty that arrived every December like clockwork—and on birthdays too. This year, I will not be told that “there are no presents from friends or family because nobody really… Read More What I Will No Longer Lose at Christmas
How Abusers Disrupt Christmas, Birthdays & Milestones 1. Financial Interference 🎁💳 What it looks like Bank cards “go missing” Accounts frozen, cards blocked, payments reversed False reports of theft, fraud, or lost property Delays just before travel, shopping, or celebrations Why they do itMoney equals autonomy. Cutting access restores control and creates panic. Early warning… Read More Holiday Sabotage Map
There’s a lady who’s sure all that glitters is goldAnd she’s buying a stairway to Heaven When she gets there she knows, if the stores are all closedWith a word she can get what she came for Ooh, ooh, and she’s buying a stairway to Heaven There’s a sign on the wall, but she wants… Read More Stairway to Heaven – my beautiful brother
Oh, people always love to say:“How did you not see it?”As if abusers come with hazard lights, a warning label, and a user manual titled “I’m Going to Make Your Life a Psychological Escape Room.” Here’s the truth — delivered with a wink and an eyeroll. 1. Because They Start Off Acting Like a Human Being… Read More Why People Fall for the Façade at First
