The experiences children have in abusive homes can profoundly shape how they see relationships, trust, and gender as adults. However, it is important to be careful not to assume that all boys who witness abuse will become “women haters.” Many boys who grow up watching their father or another male figure shout, insult, swear at,… Read More Misogynistic attitudes
Over the past decade, I have lost count of the number of times people have told me how resilient I am. They mean it as a compliment. They see someone who has survived difficult circumstances, kept going when life became overwhelming, and somehow found the strength to carry on. They see resilience. But if I’m… Read More I Hate the Word “Resilient”
What I learned very quickly was this: when a relationship becomes dangerous, evidence matters. When restraining orders are ignored, when boundaries are repeatedly crossed, and when family members close ranks, gang up on you, or attempt to intimidate and bully you into silence, your feelings and memories are important—but evidence is essential. The Guardia Civil… Read More Evidence remains.
You can often still visit New Zealand, Australia, and the USA with a criminal record, but it depends heavily on the type of offence, sentence, and how recent it is. Each country has its own rules, and they vary quite a bit. Here’s a clear breakdown: 🇳🇿 New Zealand You may be allowed in, but they… Read More “Crimes involving moral turpitude (CIMT)”
Family harassment in Spain is taken seriously under both criminal law and police protection systems (including VioGén when relevant). It can apply even if there is no physical violence. Here’s a clear breakdown: 👨👩👧 What counts as family harassment? Family or “domestic” harassment can include behaviour from: Ex-partners or spouses Family members (in-laws included) People connected… Read More What counts as family harassment?
Here’s a clear, practical explanation of what can still count as harassment, stalking, or indirect contact in Spain after a restraining order has expired. Even when an order ends, certain behaviours can still be treated as new offences under Spanish law if they are unwanted, repeated, or cause distress. 🚨 1. Harassment (acoso) This is repeated behaviour that disturbs… Read More Harassment (acoso)
Exiting a volatile situation needs planning, not confrontation in the moment. When things are unstable, the goal is not to “win the moment” — it’s to get out safely and reduce risk. Here’s a clear, practical way to think about it: How to exit a volatile situation safely 1. Don’t announce the exit while things are… Read More How to exit a volatile situation safely
Someone asked me recently, “Surely you can remember something nice about him?” I stopped and really thought about it. I searched through thirty-two years of memories, trying to find moments of generosity, kindness or selflessness. But every memory that surfaced came with a condition attached. It wasn’t that he never gave a gift or did a… Read More “Can’t You Remember Anything Nice About Him?”
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There is a simple philosophy that guides many generous people: “I have never been hungry, cold, or homeless, so I am grateful for what I have and happy to put something back into the world.” This way of thinking is rooted not in obligation, but in gratitude. It recognises that while life is not perfect,… Read More Putting Something Back: The Quiet Power of Gratitude
