Tag: MENTAL HEALTH

Mental health refers to a person’s emotional, psychological, and social well-being, encompassing the ability to handle stress, relate to others, make decisions, and navigate the challenges of life. It influences how individuals think, feel, and act, contributing to the overall balance and quality of their lives. Mental health is essential at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood.

Why calm truth destabilises abusers more than anger

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

1. Anger keeps the abuser in control of the nervous-system dance Abusers are neurologically accustomed to high arousal states: Conflict triggers adrenaline and dopamine Anger signals engagement, reactivity, and emotional access It confirms: “I can still affect you” From a brain perspective, anger keeps both people in the same threat loop.The abuser knows this terrain well — they… Read More Why calm truth destabilises abusers more than anger

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Calm truth

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

There was never anyone else.I returned from holiday with my family — my children and grandchildren. Nothing more, nothing hidden. The idea of a “mystery man” was a story used to discredit me. In reality, he had another partner while using my hard-earned money and restricting my access to my own finances. For decades, I… Read More Calm truth

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From survival mode to safety mode

1. From survival mode to safety mode For decades, your brain and body were likely dominated by the threat system: Chronic adrenaline (epinephrine) and cortisol Hypervigilance: always scanning for the next outburst A nervous system locked in sympathetic overdrive (fight/flight) Neuroscience shows that long-term emotional abuse keeps the amygdala (threat detector) overactive, while the prefrontal cortex (reasoning, reflection, calm decision-making) gets suppressed.… Read More From survival mode to safety mode

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Immediate nervous system reset

Putting yourself first after disengaging from someone who is dumping distressing information is essential for nervous system recovery. Here’s a structured, neuroscience- and psychology-informed plan for grounding and stabilizing yourself in the days immediately after: 1. Immediate nervous system reset 🔹 Deep breathing Try box breathing: inhale 4 sec → hold 4 sec → exhale 6 sec → hold… Read More Immediate nervous system reset

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Why blocking and stopping contact protects your sanity (neuroscience & psychology)

🧠 1. Your brain did not consent to this role Unsolicited disclosure recruits your nervous system without permission. Neuroscience: The amygdala cannot distinguish between chosen and imposed threat. Repeated contact keeps your stress system activated. Blocking stops ongoing threat signalling. You are closing an open stress loop. 🧠 2. Ongoing contact creates “false responsibility” Psychology shows that once contact continues, the… Read More Why blocking and stopping contact protects your sanity (neuroscience & psychology)

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Practical and safe approach

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

Passing the information to your psychologist and discussing it is generally a very safe and effective choice, from both psychology and neuroscience perspectives, because it allows you to process the material without carrying it alone, and it protects your nervous system. Here’s the reasoning: 1. Psychologists are trained containers for trauma Unlike family or acquaintances, psychologists provide… Read More Practical and safe approach

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Why you should NOT pass details to their family

1. Families are not neutral containers Psychology shows that families are emotionally invested systems, not objective recipients of information. Common outcomes: Denial Minimisation Defensive loyalty Blame-shifting Retaliation (direct or indirect) Neuroscience: Family identity activates threat and loyalty circuits in the brain. The prefrontal cortex (reasoning) is often overridden by ingroup protection. This means facts are rarely processed rationally. 2. You become… Read More Why you should NOT pass details to their family

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Should you pass the information to your lawyer?

Yes, if ALL of the following are true: The disclosure arrived unsolicited It concerns your ex It may have legal relevance (financial, safety, coercive control, credibility) You do not want to engage with or assess it yourself Your lawyer’s role is precisely to hold information so you don’t have to. Why this is protective (neuroscience & psychology) 🧠 1. Cognitive offloading Stress… Read More Should you pass the information to your lawyer?

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You are not refusing truth — you are refusing harm

✅ DO — Protect yourself while acting responsibly 🧠 Nervous system first Pause before responding (hours or a day if possible) Breathe slowly (longer exhale than inhale) Remind yourself: “This is not mine to carry.” 📩 Communication Keep responses short, neutral, and procedural Redirect immediately to relevant authorities or professionals Use the same wording every time (consistency reduces stress) End… Read More You are not refusing truth — you are refusing harm

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Disturbing information

Here is a clear, trauma-informed, neuroscience-aligned way to react when someone you barely know contacts you with a disclosure about your ex — something you didn’t want to know, but that should be reported. This approach protects your nervous system, your legal position, and the integrity of the information. 1. Regulate first — before responding Do nothing immediately. Neuroscience: When surprised by… Read More Disturbing information

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