Here’s a fact-based overview of figures in Europe on intimate partner/family-related homicides — the closest available comparable data to “murders related to divorce” (official statistics rarely classify homicides by divorce status specifically, but many do by relationship with the perpetrator). 🧠 1. Intimate partner and family-related homicides in the EU (2023) 📌 Rate per million women:In 2023, across the European Union: ~4.1… Read More European figures
Here’s what evidence from official data and research actually shows about the idea that murders related to divorce are increasing — the picture is more complex than the narrative that “divorce-related murder is rising everywhere”: 📊 1. Domestic homicide (including after separation/divorce) is a real risk — but not clearly rising overall In England and Wales, there were 108 domestic homicides in the year… Read More Divorce related murder
Sometimes what you’re searching for is right under your nose—you just don’t recognise it.You’ve been there before: a friend, a confidant, someone you trust.Good-looking, plenty in common.Maybe it’s time to open your eyes. Direct / awakening What you’re looking for is often right in front of you—you just fail to see it.You already know them:… Read More Reflective / gentle
Therapy often fails with abusers not because therapy is weak, but because abuse is not a skills deficit or an emotional misunderstanding. It is a rewarded, reinforced behavioural system. Neuroscience makes this very clear. 1. Abuse is not loss of control — it is learned control Most abusers do not lose control in therapy-relevant ways. Neurologically: Their aggression is often goal-directed The prefrontal… Read More Learned control
The brain doesn’t care whether a pattern is moral — only whether it is repeated and reinforced. When an abuser: controls a partner devalues her uses intimidation or manipulation avoids consequences replaces rather than repairs those behaviours are rewarded (dopamine release). Over time: domination → reward empathy → irrelevant accountability → threat The brain rewires accordingly. 2. How… Read More 1. Experience-dependent plasticity works on abusers too
Your brain is not shaped mainly by age or genetics.It is shaped by what you repeatedly have to do to stay safe. Neurons that fire together, wire together.Neural circuits that are used repeatedly become stronger, faster, and more automatic. So the brain literally reorganises itself around lived patterns, not ideals. How this works under long-term abuse or coercive… Read More What “experience-dependent plasticity” actually means
Neuroscience of survival under coercive control When someone lives for years under: financial restriction, threats (overt or implied), emotional intimidation, instability, the brain shifts into chronic threat mode. What happens neurologically: The amygdala stays activated (danger monitoring) Cortisol remains elevated The prefrontal cortex (long-term planning, risk calculation) becomes suppressed Decisions become short-term survival focused, not future-optimising So instead of: “What’s best… Read More 1. Why you stayed and kept trying to “make it work”
A safeguarding ethics question: If a professional working in safeguarding, education, health, or social care receives a written report from a third party stating that an adult has been repeatedly observed using binoculars to watch young girls, and the information is credible, specific, and pattern-based — what is the ethical responsibility of that professional? Is it ethical to:… Read More Professional Ethics Question (Safeguarding & Practice)
UK-specific summary of the law and professional requirements when someone working in safeguarding learns that a family member (or anyone) may be unsafe around children — whether that information comes from an informant, a colleague, or personal knowledge: 🧑⚖️ 1. There is no absolute general criminal law duty to report child abuse In England (and most of the UK), there… Read More Reporting
If someone works in safeguarding children or vulnerable people,but ignores clear signs of abuse within their own family,stays silent, minimises, or protects the abuser… Are they truly safe to be working in safeguarding roles? Is silence neutrality — or is it a form of harm? From a psychology and neuroscience perspective,what allows someone trained to recognise… Read More Safeguarding and Silence — an uncomfortable question
