I thought I was packing up 32 years of belongings. Turns out I’m packing up 32 years of written confessions. Every cupboard I open: 💌 “I’m sorry.” 💌 “I know I’ve treated you terribly.” 💌 “I’ll change.” 💌 “You deserve better.” Honestly, if apologies were a currency, I’d be retiring on a private island. At this… Read More Moving House Update:
One of the most confusing experiences for survivors is discovering years of letters, cards and messages saying: “I’m sorry.” “I know I’ve hurt you.” “I’ll change.” Yet the behaviour never changes. How can someone repeatedly acknowledge their actions and still continue the same pattern for decades? The Cycle of Abuse Psychologists have long recognised a… Read More Why Do Serial Abusers Leave a Trail of Apologies? The Psychology and Neuroscience Behind the Pattern
Packing up a home after thirty-two years is an emotional experience. You expect to find old photographs, forgotten receipts, and the odd missing sock. What you don’t expect is to find a trail of handwritten letters and cards from the person who made you feel so small for so long. As I empty cupboards and… Read More The Letters I No Longer Need to Read
Just clearing out before I move house after 32 years of abuse. Another letter of truth.
Many people feel that they can “read” emotion in someone’s eyes. In therapy, for example, clinicians often notice subtle facial cues that seem to reveal more than words. While there is some scientific truth to this idea, neuroscience shows that the reality is more complex. The brain is highly sensitive to eye cues Research in… Read More Can You Read Emotion in Someone’s Eyes? Neuroscience and Psychology Explained
The feeling that “the universe is reading your mind” is surprisingly common, especially during periods of major life change, emotional upheaval, grief, recovery, or when people are actively searching for meaning and direction. From a neuroscience and psychology perspective, several processes can create this experience. Pattern Detection: The Brain’s Superpower The human brain evolved to… Read More Pattern Detection: The Brain’s Superpower
2025 “So… if it wasn’t the money, and it wasn’t the sex, and it definitely wasn’t the looks… WHY were you with him?” View • 💋”Must’ve kept him young having a younger wife!” they say… View • 💔 “No, It Was Never for the Money” — A Truth Behind the Facade View • 💔 “No one falls in love faster… Read More Posts from June 2025
One of the most frustrating experiences reported by survivors is not only the abuse itself, but the reaction they receive when they finally disclose it. A relative may say: “I doubt he’ll kill you.” “He wouldn’t do that.” “You’re overthinking it.” “Just leave and move on.” Then, when separation or divorce begins, the same relative… Read More I doubt he’ll kill you.
A phenomenon that psychologists sometimes call normalcy bias, optimism bias, and, in some cases, epistemic injustice. When someone finally discloses domestic abuse and hears responses such as: “I doubt he’ll kill you.” “You’ll both meet someone else and move on.” “Every couple argues.” the speaker may think they are being reassuring. However, from a psychological perspective, they may… Read More Epistemic injustice.
The death of Katherine ‘Kat’ Torbick, a 43-year-old nurse and mother from Schaumburg, Illinois. Prosecutors allege that her former boyfriend, Kevin Motykie, subjected her to a prolonged assault that was captured on a recording device found after his arrest. Authorities allege the recording lasted more than seven hours and documented arguments, restraint, violence, and ultimately… Read More Why record it?
