Category: LINDA C J TURNER – Trauma Therapist

Missing Someone vs. Avoiding Someone: The Brain Science

1. When You Truly Miss Someone If you’ve been away and genuinely care, your brain naturally craves reconnection. Oxytocin (bonding hormone) rises when you think of them, driving closeness and touch. Dopamine (reward hormone) makes you excited about the reunion. Attachment psychology: Securely attached people restore connection after distance, because closeness regulates emotions and lowers stress. 👉… Read More Missing Someone vs. Avoiding Someone: The Brain Science

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Hidden vs. Celebrated: The Psychology of Being Chosen in Relationships

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

1. Why Visibility Matters When someone is serious about you, they naturally integrate you into their life — introducing you to friends, family, and colleagues. Psychology calls this social integration, and it’s a key marker of commitment. Being visible signals pride, investment, and emotional security. Being hidden often signals avoidance, uncertainty, or backup-plan behavior. From a neuroscience perspective,… Read More Hidden vs. Celebrated: The Psychology of Being Chosen in Relationships

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🚫 What Love Isn’t (Psychology & Neuroscience)

1. Love isn’t constant anxiety If you’re always second-guessing, chasing, or fearing abandonment, that’s not love — it’s your amygdala (fear center) stuck in overdrive. Healthy love should calm the nervous system, not keep it in fight-or-flight. 2. Love isn’t control or possession Real love nurtures growth; control triggers the brain’s stress circuits (cortisol). If someone tries to dominate or restrict… Read More 🚫 What Love Isn’t (Psychology & Neuroscience)

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🧠 Neuroscience of Clear Love vs. Guessing

Certainty lowers stress → When you openly express love, the brain reduces cortisol (stress hormone). Uncertainty keeps the nervous system in “fight-or-flight,” leaving the other person anxious. Oxytocin deepens bonds → Clear words (“I love you,” “I care for you”) and consistent actions release oxytocin, the bonding hormone, which makes the relationship feel warm and secure. Dopamine builds joy → Loving… Read More 🧠 Neuroscience of Clear Love vs. Guessing

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High Standards

Mum and Me

Self-worth, boundaries, and brain chemistry. Here’s how psychology and neuroscience explain why keeping your standards high matters, and why asking “can they afford me?” isn’t just about money — it’s about energy, respect, and emotional investment. 💎 1. Why Standards Matter (Psychology) Standards = Self-Respect → When you hold boundaries around how you want to be treated, you’re… Read More High Standards

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First Dates

Here’s a practical psychology + neuroscience-based guide to creating the right atmosphere for a first date—so it feels natural, enjoyable, and leaves a lasting positive impression: 🌟 1. Where to Go The brain remembers experiences better when they are tied to novelty, safety, and good emotions. Choose a relaxed, neutral setting → a cozy café, a scenic walk,… Read More First Dates

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Serial Cheaters and Freeloaders: A Psychological and Neuroscientific Perspective

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment

Some people seem to glide through life, taking from others without giving in return—serial cheaters and emotional or financial freeloaders. Understanding why they behave this way requires a mix of psychology, personality science, and neuroscience. 1. Personality Traits and Psychological Patterns a. Narcissism and Antisocial TraitsMany serial cheaters show strong narcissistic tendencies. They often have: A… Read More Serial Cheaters and Freeloaders: A Psychological and Neuroscientific Perspective

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Self-Respect in Relationships: Why You Shouldn’t Beg for Attention

In any healthy relationship, self-respect is the cornerstone. It’s the quiet confidence that you deserve care, attention, and consistency without needing to chase it. Begging for someone’s attention might feel instinctive when you care about them, but neuroscience and psychology show that it often undermines both your self-worth and the health of the relationship. 1.… Read More Self-Respect in Relationships: Why You Shouldn’t Beg for Attention

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Shouldn’t have to beg for breadcrumbs

Let’s unpack this from a psychology and neuroscience perspective. The idea that “you will know when it feels right” and that you shouldn’t have to beg for breadcrumbs isn’t just a cliché—it reflects how our brains respond to healthy vs. unhealthy relational dynamics. 1. The Brain on Healthy Connection When a relationship feels “right,” several brain systems are aligned:… Read More Shouldn’t have to beg for breadcrumbs

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