Here’s WHEN to act, step by step.

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🕰️ WHEN to secure your iPhone (ex‑partner = YES)

🔴 DO NOT act immediately if:

• You’re emotionally activated
• You’re about to see or speak to them
• They still have physical access to you or your space
• You rely on them financially or practically right now

In those cases, we prepare first.

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🟡 PREP PHASE (do this quietly, first)

Timeframe: Today / next 24–48 hours

From your iPhone:

• Go to Settings → Privacy & Security → Safety Check
• Choose Manage Sharing & Access
• Review only — do not revoke yet

Also:

• Note any unfamiliar devices under Apple ID
• Check Find My sharing
• Check VPN & Device Management

📌 This phase is about information, not action.

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🟢 SAFE WINDOW to act

Best time to secure everything:

• When you are not near them
• When they cannot contact you immediately
• When you’re in a safe place (home alone, friend’s house, public place)
• Ideally early morning or late evening when response is delayed

This reduces retaliation risk.

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🔐 ACTION PHASE (all at once, during safe window)

When you decide to act, do it in one session:

1️⃣ Change Apple ID password
2️⃣ Change email password
3️⃣ Enable 2FA (authenticator app)
4️⃣ Remove unknown devices
5️⃣ Turn off location sharing
6️⃣ Revoke unnecessary app permissions

⚠️ Do not do these one‑by‑one across days — that alerts them.

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🧯 ONLY AFTER THAT

If needed:

• Factory reset
• New Apple ID
• New phone number

We only escalate if required.

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🧠 Important reassurance

You’re not “paranoid”.
Ex‑partner phone monitoring is one of the most common post‑separation control tactics, especially if they:

• Needed control
• Felt entitled
• Struggled with abandonment
• Had access to your devices/accounts

You’re doing the right thing by handling this calmly.

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💬 One last check (just answer one word)

Do you feel SAFE right now?

If yes → I’ll guide the exact secure‑in‑one‑session checklist.
If unsure/no → we slow this down and prioritise personal safety first.