Once upon a time, I was an excellent candidate for the “Give Him Another Chance” Olympics. I could explain away almost anything. “He’s just tired.” “He’s had a difficult past.” “Maybe I misunderstood.” “He probably didn’t mean it like that.” “He says he cares, so perhaps I should focus on his words.” Oh, how wonderfully accommodating… Read More Three Strikes and You’re Out: My New Dating Philosophy
At this stage of my life, I know something very clearly. I know what I don’t want. I don’t want another man who tells me flowers should be left in the garden. I want flowers because I love them. I want someone who understands that sometimes a bunch of flowers isn’t about practicality—it’s about thoughtfulness.… Read More I Know What I Don’t Want
When you meet someone for the first time, pay attention to what they do, not just what they say. First impressions aren’t about making an instant judgement or deciding that one small behaviour tells you everything about a person’s character. They are about observing. How do they treat you? Do they make an effort? Do they listen… Read More First Impressions Count: Observe Behaviour
Love should never require you to ignore your instincts. Whether you’re dating for the first time in years, rebuilding your life after abuse, or simply wanting to make wiser relationship choices, these questions can help you slow down, observe patterns, and make informed decisions. No single answer proves someone is abusive—or that they are safe.… Read More A Relationship Safety Checklist: Questions Everyone Should Ask Before Committing
If you discover that someone has a criminal conviction for domestic violence, take it seriously. Don’t allow anyone to minimise it or explain it away with familiar phrases such as: “She made it up.” “She’s unstable.” “She’s bitter.” “She’s only after money.” “It was just a messy divorce.” “There are two sides to every story.”… Read More Never Ignore a History of Domestic Violence
Beginning a new relationship should be exciting, but it is also important to protect yourself. If something doesn’t feel right, trust your instincts. You have every right to ask questions, take things slowly, and make informed decisions about your safety. Many people don’t realise that in some countries there are official schemes that allow you… Read More Starting a New Relationship? Here’s How You Can Check if Your New Partner Has a History of Domestic Abuse
My former husband may believe that when the restraining order ends, everything simply disappears. That the years of abuse, the criminal proceedings, the evidence, and the impact on my life can somehow be swept under the carpet, just as he and his family have always tried to do by presenting a very different picture to… Read More The End of a Restraining Order Is Not the End of the Story
One of the greatest sources of reassurance for me is knowing that my case is recorded within Spain’s VioGén system. The evidence I have provided—including statements, photographs, reports and other relevant information—forms part of the case information available to the authorities responsible for protecting victims of gender-based violence. This means that, if I ever need… Read More Why VioGén Gives Me Peace of Mind
it’s worth explaining that VioGén is far more than a police database. It is one of the world’s most comprehensive multi-agency risk assessment and victim protection systems, designed to ensure that victims do not “fall through the cracks” as they move through the criminal justice system. How VioGén Works When an incident of gender-based violence is reported—whether… Read More How VioGén Works
Country Disclosure Scheme Public Statistics Available England & Wales ✅ Clare’s Law (2014) Yes – annual national statistics published. Scotland ✅ Disclosure Scheme for Domestic Abuse Scotland (2015) Yes – Police Scotland publishes application and disclosure figures. Northern Ireland ✅ Domestic Violence and Abuse Disclosure Scheme (2018) Limited public statistics. Republic of Ireland ❌ No… Read More Within Europe, the position is:
Linda C J Turner | Trauma Therapist & Emotional Healing Specialist 