Most people feel uncomfortable when they see another human being in pain.

Empathy tells us to help.

Compassion tells us to comfort.

Conscience tells us that another person’s suffering matters.

But not everyone responds that way.

Some people seem to take satisfaction in another person’s misfortune. Others may quietly hope that someone fails, loses everything, or even dies because they believe they will gain financially or personally.

Why?

When Another Person’s Pain Becomes Someone Else’s Reward

Psychologists sometimes describe this as instrumental thinking.

Instead of seeing another person as a human being with feelings, they begin to see them as an obstacle, a source of money, or a means to an end.

The question changes from:

“How is this person feeling?”

to

“What do I gain if they’re gone?”

This shift can lead to decisions that place self-interest above compassion.

Envy Can Become Resentment

Envy is a normal human emotion.

Most people experience it occasionally.

Emotionally healthy people use envy as information:

“I’d like to achieve something similar.”

Unhealthy envy can become resentment.

Instead of asking, “How can I improve my own life?” the thinking becomes,

“Why should they have what I don’t?”

Over time, this mindset can harden into bitterness.

Rather than celebrating another person’s success, they begin hoping for that person’s downfall.

The Erosion of Empathy

Healthy relationships depend on empathy—the ability to recognise that another person’s feelings matter.

When empathy is consistently absent, people may become emotionally detached from the consequences of their actions.

Research has found that some individuals with high levels of certain personality traits—such as narcissistic, antisocial, or psychopathic traits—may show reduced empathy or be more willing to exploit others for personal gain. However, these traits exist on a spectrum, and only a qualified professional can diagnose a personality disorder.

Cruel behaviour alone does not tell us why someone acts that way.

Moral Disengagement

Psychologist Albert Bandura described a process called moral disengagement.

It allows people to behave in ways they would normally consider wrong by changing how they think about their actions.

For example, they may tell themselves:

“They deserve it.”

“It’s their own fault.”

“Everyone would do the same.”

“I’m only looking after myself.”

These beliefs reduce feelings of guilt and make harmful behaviour easier to justify.

When Money Becomes More Important Than People

Financial gain can sometimes distort judgement.

Inheritance disputes, divorce proceedings, business conflicts, and family disagreements can bring out both the best and the worst in people.

Most people remain guided by empathy and ethics.

A minority may begin to value the potential financial benefit more than the wellbeing of the person involved.

That does not mean they necessarily want someone to die, but in some cases financial self-interest can become so dominant that concern for the other person’s welfare fades into the background.

Character Is Revealed by What We Wish for Others

One of the greatest tests of character is not how we behave when life is going well.

It is how we respond when someone else succeeds.

Can we be genuinely pleased for them?

Can we show compassion when they are struggling?

Can we put another person’s wellbeing ahead of our own potential gain?

Those choices reveal far more about our character than our words ever will.

A Final Thought

Most people build their happiness by creating something positive.

A few spend their lives waiting for someone else to lose.

The first group invests in relationships, kindness, and personal growth.

The second invests in resentment, comparison, and imagined rewards from another person’s misfortune.

One mindset builds a meaningful life.

The other simply waits for someone else’s life to fall apart.

And perhaps that is the greatest tragedy of all.

A life built on hoping for another person’s suffering is rarely a happy life. It is often one consumed by bitterness, envy, and a constant search for someone else to blame.