15 Days from Freedom

Fifteen days from freedom. Of course, he chose today. By now, I wouldn’t expect anything less.

Three years ago, I made a choice I deeply regret. Despite my knowledge and experience in trauma therapy, I believed I could manage the situation once I escaped the isolation of France. I convinced myself that with the right support, enough insight, and strong boundaries, things would be different.

I was wrong.

The location changed. The abuse didn’t.

Abuse is abuse, wherever you are. Different surroundings don’t create a different person. The manipulation, the control, the intimidation, the walking on eggshells—they simply find new ways to exist.

The difference this time was that I had a support system. I had friends, a social life, and people who reminded me who I was. That made all the difference. It didn’t stop the abuse, but it stopped me from disappearing into it.

One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is this: when something feels wrong in your body, your mind, and deep in your bones, listen to it. Your nervous system often recognises danger long before your logical mind is ready to accept it.

Many survivors believe that if they love enough, understand enough, communicate better, or become more patient, the abuse will stop.

It won’t.

You cannot heal someone who doesn’t believe they have a problem. You cannot love an abuser into becoming safe. You cannot change another person’s behaviour when they have no desire to change it themselves.

What you can change is your response.

You can choose yourself.

You can leave.

And although the road to freedom is rarely easy, it is always worth taking.

If this resonates with you, please know this: trust what your body is telling you. If every part of you is screaming that something isn’t right, don’t silence that voice. It may be the wisest part of you.

Abuse thrives in silence. Recovery begins the moment you believe your own experience.