Some people dream of finding true love.

Others dream of finding someone with a detached house, healthy pension, paid-off car, inheritance on the horizon and absolutely no understanding of financial boundaries.

It’s a different kind of soulmate.

Their personal motto?

“If it’s going for free, I’ll have two.”

Someone offers to pay?
“How generous!”

Someone offers to help?
“Fantastic idea.”

Someone offers to do all the work?
“I’ll supervise from this comfortable chair.”

Someone inherits money?
“Our money.”

Someone owns a house?
“Our house.”

Someone has a pension?
“Our retirement plan.”

Someone has worked thirty years to build security?
“What a lovely gift for me.”

The fascinating thing is that neuroscience tells us our brains are wired to seek rewards. Dopamine gives us a little chemical pat on the back whenever we receive something pleasurable.

Most people also have another system running at the same time—one involving empathy, reciprocity and fairness.

You know…

“I’ll make dinner if you wash up.”

“You’ve worked all week, I’ll take care of this.”

“We’re a team.”

Then there are the professional spectators.

Their exercise routine consists entirely of watching other people carry boxes.

Their financial planning involves locating the nearest generous person.

Their five-year plan is hoping someone else has one.

They’ve turned “What’s yours is mine” into an Olympic sport.

The truly impressive part is the confidence.

Moving house?

“I’ll be moral support.”

Decorating?

“I’ll hold the paintbrush for thirty seconds.”

Gardening?

“I’ll point at weeds.”

Paying the bill?

“I’ve suddenly remembered my wallet is in another postcode.”

They can spot an inheritance at a hundred metres.

They can hear the words “mortgage paid off” through three brick walls.

They have a sixth sense for anyone who’s worked hard, saved carefully and still believes people have good intentions.

And when the cupboards are empty, the pension spent and the generosity exhausted?

Off they wander in search of fresh pastures, convinced that somewhere out there is another hardworking, kind-hearted human who mistakes carrying someone else’s entire life for love.

So here’s wishing them luck.

May the next one have deep pockets.

A fully paid house.

A healthy savings account.

A company pension.

A reliable car.

And just enough common sense to keep the receipts.