Online dating is becoming less like finding a soulmate and more like applying for a job with MI5. So, you do your homework. You search the business they proudly told you they own. Nothing. You look for the property empire they casually mentioned over dinner. Nothing. You search the company website. Nothing. You check professional… Read More When the Background Check Comes Back… Empty
Remember when meeting someone meant bumping into them in a café or being introduced by a friend? Now it starts with a profile that reads: “6’4″, Michelin-star chef, part-time brain surgeon, RAF pilot, property developer, model, philanthropist and dog whisperer.” Really? If dating apps reflected real life, every hospital in the country would have closed… Read More Welcome to Online Dating… Where Everyone Is Apparently a Brain Surgeon
Some people dream of finding true love. Others dream of finding someone with a detached house, healthy pension, paid-off car, inheritance on the horizon and absolutely no understanding of financial boundaries. It’s a different kind of soulmate. Their personal motto? “If it’s going for free, I’ll have two.” Someone offers to pay?“How generous!” Someone offers… Read More Hope the Next One Has Deep Pockets
“He could never have done those things. He’s such a nice man.” These are some of the most painful words survivors of coercive control and emotional abuse hear. Friends, family and neighbours often judge a person by the version they see: charming, funny, generous and helpful. Meanwhile, behind closed doors, another reality exists—one known only… Read More The Hidden Confession: When Private Regret and Public Image Don’t Match
History and everyday life are full of people who appeared charming, generous and respectable while privately causing harm. Psychologists sometimes refer to this as impression management—carefully controlling how others see you while behaving very differently behind closed doors. Fake kindness is not simply being polite. It is kindness with an agenda: to gain admiration, control, power… Read More Fake Kindness: When Goodness Is a Performance
There is a question people often ask quietly, sometimes after years of pain, confusion, or witnessing behaviour they could never quite make sense of. What happens in the end when someone spends a lifetime cheating, lying, or abusing others? It is not an easy question, and it is rarely asked from a place of curiosity… Read More When a Life Is Built on Lies, Control, or Abuse — What Eventually Happens?
You can pray every day and still be cruel. You can sit in the front row of every place of worship and still make someone cry when you get home. You can donate thousands to charity and still withhold kindness from the people who need it most. You can speak beautifully about truth, honesty and… Read More The Kindness That Nobody Sees
“The people who shout ‘Tell me the truth!’ the loudest are sometimes the ones hiding the most.” Psychology and neuroscience suggest several reasons why this can happen, although it is not true of everyone. Some people genuinely value honesty, while others use demands for honesty as a way to control or deflect attention. Behaviour Possible Psychology… Read More There is an old saying:
430 views in 24 hours on Facebook alone is a sign that the subject resonated with people, but it doesn’t necessarily mean everyone viewing it has experienced abuse themselves. There are several psychological and social reasons why posts like this attract attention. Looking at the image, it appears to be a handwritten letter beginning: “I… Read More 430 Views in 24 hours
Packing up a home after thirty-two years is an emotional experience. You expect to find old photographs, forgotten receipts, and the odd missing sock. What you don’t expect is to find a trail of handwritten letters and cards from the person who made you feel so small for so long. As I empty cupboards and… Read More The Letters I No Longer Need to Read
Linda C J Turner | Trauma Therapist & Emotional Healing Specialist 