At first glance, it can seem confusing — even contradictory — when someone aligns themselves with people they clearly don’t like, simply because there is something to gain.

But neuroscience helps explain this behaviour.

1. Reward Overrides Authenticity

The brain is wired to seek reward. When there is a perceived benefit — money, status, access, or advantage — the dopamine system is activated.

This means:

• The brain prioritises gain over genuine connection
• The focus shifts from “Do I like this person?” to “What can I get from this?”

In these moments, authenticity becomes secondary to reward.

2. The Prefrontal Cortex Gets Bypassed

The part of the brain responsible for values and long-term thinking — the prefrontal cortex — normally helps us act with integrity.

But when reward or opportunity is strong:

• Immediate benefit can override ethical reflection
• Decisions become more impulsive and strategic rather than value-driven

This is especially true in individuals who already prioritise short-term gain.

3. Cognitive Dissonance Gets Resolved Internally

When someone behaves in a way that conflicts with their true feelings (e.g. spending time with someone they dislike), the brain creates internal justification.

This is called cognitive dissonance.

To reduce discomfort, the brain may think:

• “It’s not that bad”
• “It’s worth it”
• “Everyone does this”

Over time, this reduces the emotional conflict and makes the behaviour easier to repeat.

4. Social Strategy Over Emotional Connection

In some personalities, relationships are processed more as strategic tools than emotional bonds.

Neuroscientifically, this can involve:

• Reduced emotional empathy in decision-making
• Increased activity in areas linked to planning and outcome (goal-directed behaviour)

So relationships become:

• Transactional
• Conditional
• Based on advantage rather than connection

5. Repetition Reinforces the Pattern

Each time this behaviour leads to a reward:

• The brain strengthens the association
• It becomes easier to repeat
• Authenticity becomes less relevant over time

This is how opportunistic behaviour becomes habitual.

The Bottom Line

When someone aligns with people they don’t even like for personal gain, it’s not confusion — it’s prioritisation.

The brain is choosing:
reward over relationship, advantage over authenticity, and outcome over integrity.

And unless there is strong self-awareness and values-based thinking, this pattern tends to repeat.