I used to think 50/50 was the goal in relationships. But when you’ve lived through 90/10 — or worse — even a little bit of balance feels like a miracle.
For so long, I was expected to pay half, but also do all the housework, cooking, cleaning, gardening, and household repairs. I was wearing every single hat — homemaker, provider, emotional caretaker, peacekeeper — while also walking on eggshells.
It wasn’t partnership.
It was emotional and physical labour dressed up as love.
And now?
Now I’m in a space that feels like peace.
Like care.
Like mutual effort and shared joy.
And my nervous system is still adjusting to what being looked after actually feels like.
🫶 What Changed?
For the first time in a long time, I’m not:
- Being taken for granted
- Enduring constant criticism or complaints
- Hearing insults or degrading comments
- Having my family attacked or belittled
- Being asked for money or made to feel like a means to an end
Instead, I’m:
- Being cooked for 💫
- Pampered, with genuine thoughtfulness
- Looked after, without having to earn it
- Sharing chores
- Enjoying companionship, conversation, and intimacy
- Feeling safe, not scrutinized
- Treated as a partner, not a servant
It’s soft.
It’s warm.
It’s the kind of love that holds, not harms.
💡 This Is What Partnership Is Supposed to Be
Not perfect — but balanced.
Not demanding — but offering.
Not performative — but present.
Love should never feel like debt repayment or emotional exhaustion.
It should feel like this:
“Let me take care of you, because I want to.”
“Let me help, because we’re in this together.”
“Let me listen, because I care about your heart.”
🌱 What Healing Has Taught Me
For years, I tolerated the imbalance because I was told I was “I was just imagining things,” “I was unwell and it was all in my head,” or “lucky to have anyone at all.”
That wasn’t love. That was manipulation.
That was emotional abuse disguised as partnership.
But healing has taught me:
- I don’t need to carry the entire relationship on my back
- I don’t need to earn rest, respect, or kindness
- I am not “too much” for wanting mutual care and dignity
- I deserve love that nourishes, not just survives
And so do you.
✨ What More Could Any Girl Want?
A calm home.
A kind voice.
A helping hand.
A warm meal.
A shared laugh.
A safe place to land.
Not a castle. Not a prince.
Just a real, emotionally grown human who values partnership.
I’m not asking for the world.
I’m asking for respect, kindness, and shared effort.
And I’m finally receiving it.
📣 For Anyone Still Carrying the 90%
If you’re reading this and thinking, “That sounds like a dream,” — I want you to know:
It’s not a fantasy. It’s possible.
But it starts by believing you deserve more than scraps and survival.
Real love doesn’t drain you.
It fills your cup.
It folds the laundry, stirs the pot, brings you tea, kisses your forehead, and says,
“I’ve got you too.”
And once you taste that kind of love?
You’ll never go back to carrying 90% again.
