Strangulation is not just a red flag—it’s an alarm bell. It is one of the most dangerous and insidious forms of abuse, and yet, it’s often minimized or misunderstood.

When someone puts their hands around your throat, they are not just trying to hurt you—they are showing you they can kill you. It’s a terrifying, calculated demonstration of power and control. Even if you survive, and many do, the impact lingers in ways we don’t always talk about.

⚠️ The Reality of Non-Fatal Strangulation

Many survivors of intimate partner violence report being strangled at some point in the relationship. And here’s what research tells us:

• Strangulation is a leading indicator of future homicide. If a partner has strangled you, you are 750% more likely to be killed by them later.
• Even if there are no external marks, internal injuries can include memory loss, PTSD, strokes, and even delayed death.
• Survivors often say, “He looked me in the eye while he did it.” It is personal. It is psychological warfare. It leaves emotional scars that take years to heal.

🧠 The Psychological Fallout

The message behind strangulation is clear: “I control whether you live or die.”
This is not a ‘moment of rage’—it is a strategy. It creates an environment of terror, compliance, and silence. It leaves the victim frozen in fear, often too scared to leave, speak out, or even seek help.

And once it’s happened once, the threat of it happening again becomes a looming shadow.

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❓But What About the Next Victim?

Here lies one of the hardest questions a survivor may face:

Do I warn the next woman? Do I risk not being believed, being called bitter, dramatic—or worse, being retraumatized? Or do I just walk away, knowing what I know, and try to protect my own peace?

It’s a heartbreaking predicament. You may know he’s moved on quickly. You may have seen the smiles on social media. You may recognize the signs. Maybe she’s already starting to shrink.

But here’s the truth: It is not your responsibility to rescue anyone.

You can offer a lifeline. You can speak your truth, if it feels safe and right for you. But remember, the abuser likely has a polished public persona. They know how to charm. They know how to discredit you. And if they strangled you, they have already demonstrated what they are capable of.

⚖️ Your safety—emotionally, physically, legally—must come first.
If you choose to reach out, do it with support. If you choose to stay silent, you are not complicit—you are protecting your own life.

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🧭 Final Thoughts: What We Need to Start Saying Out Loud

• Strangulation is attempted murder. Survivors need to be taken seriously.
• This form of abuse is not rare. It is happening, in silence, far too often.
• If someone tells you they were strangled in a relationship—believe them. Understand the gravity.
• And if you are that person, still carrying the trauma in your body and your soul: you are not weak, you are a survivor. You did what you had to do to stay alive.

Let’s bring this conversation into the light. Let’s protect those who are still in it. Let’s make sure the next victim never becomes a name on a headline.

💔 If you’ve experienced strangulation or any form of abuse, please reach out to a domestic violence organization in your area. You deserve safety. You deserve to heal. And you are not alone.

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— Linda C J Turner

Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment