By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate

Let’s be very clear:
Abuse is not a symptom of mental illness.
Abuse is not a result of emotional instability.
Abuse is not caused by stress, alcohol, or a “bad day.”

Abuse is a deliberate act.
It is rooted in a calculated desire to exert power, maintain control, and dominate another human being. It is not accidental, nor is it a fleeting lapse in judgment—it is a pattern. A choice. A conscious behavior.

Far too often, society rushes to label abusers as “troubled,” “damaged,” or “mentally unwell.” But when we medicalize abusive behavior, we shift blame away from the perpetrator and onto something impersonal—an illness, a diagnosis, an excuse.

This not only perpetuates the cycle of harm, it also deeply invalidates the voices of survivors. It tells them, “They couldn’t help it,” or worse, “You should have been more understanding.” This framing is both dangerous and dismissive.

Let’s be clear:
Plenty of people live with mental health struggles and do not abuse others.
Plenty of people feel emotional pain and do not resort to control, manipulation, or violence.

Abuse is not about mental health. It’s about entitlement, dominance, and the calculated erosion of someone else’s autonomy. It’s about breaking someone down so they forget who they are.

So to every survivor who’s been told “they didn’t mean it,”
To every victim who’s been asked to “be more compassionate” to their abuser—
You are not crazy. You are not dramatic. You are not wrong.

You saw what you saw. You felt what you felt. And you deserve to have your truth honoured.

Let’s stop excusing abuse behind the veil of illness.
Let’s hold abusers accountable for their actions.
And most of all, let’s start centering the healing, the voice, and the safety of survivors.

🖤 Abuse is not an illness.
🖤 It’s a choice.
🖤 And no one deserves to live under its weight.

#AbuseIsNotAnIllness #PowerAndControl #SurvivorVoices #EndTheCycle #TraumaAwareness #AccountabilityMatters #DomesticAbuseAwareness #MentalHealthIsNotAnExcuse

— Linda C J Turner

Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment