You know the type… They walk into a room like they’ve just been personally delivered by the heavens. 👑 Head in the clouds. Ego through the roof. Self-awareness somewhere in another postcode. 😂 And then, when someone actually shows an interest in them: “I can’t believe they want to go out with ME!” Darling… Have… Read More 😂 WHEN SOMEONE THINKS THEY’RE GOD’S GIFT… BUT FORGOT TO CHECK THE RECEIPT
There can come a point after an abusive or deeply controlling relationship when something inside you changes. You think about the person who once occupied so much of your emotional world — and you realise something has happened. You cannot seem to remember what you ever found so wonderful about them. The memories that once… Read More When You Can’t Remember Anything Good Anymore: When Love Turns to Disgust After Abuse
Explore the psychology of hidden vindictiveness, moral superiority, impression management and indirect retaliation, and how to recognise harmful patterns without assuming motives.… Read More Covert Vindictiveness: When Someone Pretends to Have Integrity but Retaliates in Private
Explore how conditional affection, financial withholding and public generosity alongside private neglect can affect self-worth, emotional safety and recovery from controlling relationships.… Read More The Bare Minimum: When Love, Affection, Generosity and Even Basic Kindness Become Transactions
An exploration of coercive control, psychological trauma, survival and the devastating consequences of having your autonomy taken away. Trauma & Emotional Abuse | Neuroscience & Emotional Regulation | Relationships & Recovery Dorothy Vallens, the lounge singer played by Isabella Rossellini in David Lynch’s Blue Velvet, is one of cinema’s haunting portrayals of a woman trapped in… Read More Dorothy Vallens in Blue Velvet: When Violence, Control and Fear Become Entangled with Desire
Dishonest individuals often project their own behaviors onto others, assuming everyone acts similarly. This projection leads to a distorted moral double standard, where they rationalize their dishonesty while condemning others for the same actions. Distinguishing between healthy discernment and chronic suspicion is crucial, as suspicion can stem from past trauma rather than actual deceit.… Read More When suspicion reflects their own standards
The narrative highlights the significance of recognizing early warning signs in relationships, particularly through a recounting of emotional abuse. The author reflects on a past conversation that foreshadowed their own experience with similar behavior when attempting to leave a relationship. Ultimately, it emphasizes the importance of understanding patterns of abuse and the consequences of one’s actions.… Read More The Warning I Ignored: When Someone Takes Pride in Destroying Their Former Partner
Sometimes the person experiencing abuse eventually reaches out When you have lived for years feeling that there is no way out, there may come a point when you finally confide in someone close to your partner. You may not even be asking them to confront the person. You may simply be hoping for one thing:… Read More When You Finally Ask the Family for Help: The Psychology of Silence, Denial and Cover-Up Around Abuse
Sometimes you don’t realise you have been isolated until you look back One of the most frightening things about prolonged coercive control is that isolation does not always look like isolation. There may be no moment when someone says: “You are no longer allowed to have friends.” Instead, people gradually disappear. A friend becomes someone… Read More The People Who Disappeared: How Coercive Control Can Slowly Remove Your Support Network
Sometimes, looking back, the question can be painfully difficult: “Why didn’t I leave when people were telling me I was in danger?” You may remember the moments clearly. Your doctor asked questions that made you realise he was concerned. Your psychologist repeatedly questioned your partner’s behaviour and history. Your doctor was shocked that the situation… Read More When Everyone Else Can See the Danger: Why People Can Stay Even When They Are Being Offered a Way Out
