Understanding Human Behaviour: An Adlerian Series

This series explores human behaviour, relationships, and emotional resilience through the work of Alfred Adler—one of the first psychologists to focus not just on what is “wrong” with people, but on how they can grow, connect, and find meaning. Each piece stands alone, but together they tell a deeper story: 1. The Neurotic Constitution —… Read More Understanding Human Behaviour: An Adlerian Series

From Inferiority to Control: What Adler Can Teach Us About Harmful Relationship Dynamics

In 1912, Alfred Adler published The Neurotic Constitution, introducing a powerful idea: That many unhealthy behaviours are not random—but rooted in a deep sense of inferiority. Adler believed that when a person feels fundamentally “less than”—not good enough, not important enough, not secure enough—they don’t simply sit with that feeling. Instead, they try to compensate… Read More From Inferiority to Control: What Adler Can Teach Us About Harmful Relationship Dynamics

Kindness Costs Nothing — Yet Some People Still Refuse to Give It

Kindness costs nothing. No money.No status.No special privilege. And yet, for some people, it seems to be the hardest thing in the world to offer. That truth can be difficult to understand—especially if you are someone who gives kindness naturally. If you are someone who considers others, who chooses your words carefully, who would rather… Read More Kindness Costs Nothing — Yet Some People Still Refuse to Give It

Ambiguous Deprivation: The Invisible Loss That Shapes Us

Psychologists sometimes refer to a subtle but deeply impactful experience as ambiguous deprivation.It’s not about something dramatic that happened to you.It’s about what didn’t. It’s the quiet absence of what should have been there: And because nothing obvious was “taken,” it can be incredibly hard to name. The Loss You Can’t Point To Unlike clear trauma, ambiguous… Read More Ambiguous Deprivation: The Invisible Loss That Shapes Us

Why an abusive person can seem calm right after harming you

1. Their stress system just discharged Before the outburst, their brain is often in a high-alert state: When they lash out (verbally, emotionally, or physically), it can act like a release valve. So their body goes from:high stress → discharge → relief That relief can look like: 2. Your distress regulates their nervous system This is one of… Read More Why an abusive person can seem calm right after harming you