Tag: #love

Love is a complex and multifaceted emotion that encompasses a range of feelings, attitudes, and behaviors. It can be experienced in various forms, including romantic love, familial love, platonic love, and self-love. Here are some key aspects of love:

Why emotionally dead partners collapse after separation

1. Loss of external regulation While partnered, they weren’t self-regulating — you were. You provided: emotional tone social pacing narrative meaning motivation to engage with life After separation, that scaffolding disappears. Their nervous system is suddenly alone with: emotional flatness low reward activation unprocessed affect That feels like free fall. 2. Delayed emotional impact Emotionally defended people don’t process… Read More Why emotionally dead partners collapse after separation

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Why emotionally dead partners are drawn to vibrant ones

This pattern is so common that once you see it, you can’t unsee it. And it’s not romantic fate — it’s nervous systems and attachment dynamics doing exactly what they’re wired to do. Here’s the clean, unsentimental explanation. Why emotionally dead partners are drawn to vibrant ones 1. Borrowed aliveness (nervous-system outsourcing) An emotionally dead person often has low… Read More Why emotionally dead partners are drawn to vibrant ones

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The Moment I Thought Abuse Was Over — And Why It Wasn’t

I was finished with abuse the moment I decided to move to Spain on my own. I had found a small, manageable, affordable property.It was realistic.It was sustainable.It gave me safety, autonomy, and breathing space. I was ready to start again — without chaos, without control, without fear. But I was convinced otherwise. I was told that… Read More The Moment I Thought Abuse Was Over — And Why It Wasn’t

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Safe Disengagement When ASPD-Type Dynamics Are Present

When antisocial traits are involved, disengagement is not relational — it is operational.You are not leaving a mutual bond; you are exiting a system where you were an asset. 🧭 Core Shift (This Is Non-Negotiable) You are not dealing with misunderstanding — you are dealing with entitlement. There is no insight coming.There is no repair coming.There is no shared… Read More Safe Disengagement When ASPD-Type Dynamics Are Present

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What Safe Disengagement Actually Looks Like

Safe disengagement means leaving or detaching in a way that does not provoke escalation. It is quiet, strategic, and protective — not dramatic or confrontational. 🧭 First: Shift the Goal The goal is safety, not clarity.You do not need: Their insight Their apology Their agreement Their understanding Seeking those often increases danger. 🔇 1. Reduce Emotional Access (Before Physical… Read More What Safe Disengagement Actually Looks Like

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Assessing Risk vs Denial: A Grounded Reality Check

Use this when you’re doubting yourself, being pressured to “calm down,” or told you’re overreacting. 🔍 Step 1: Look at Behaviours, Not Stories Risk is revealed by patterns, not explanations. High-risk indicators: Strangulation or threats to breathing Coercive control (money, housing, decisions) Calm, deliberate cruelty rather than explosive anger Escalation during illness, separation, or loss of… Read More Assessing Risk vs Denial: A Grounded Reality Check

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How Other People’s Agendas Can Distort Separation and Divorce Decisions

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

During separation and divorce, one of the most important — and most difficult — boundaries to hold is this: Do not allow siblings, children, extended family, or friends to sway your decisions simply because they are close to you. Not everyone involved has your best interests at heart — even when they believe they do.… Read More How Other People’s Agendas Can Distort Separation and Divorce Decisions

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The golden rule

Name-calling, vile emails/texts, accusations, blackmail, humiliation from the abuser’s family — is active mental cruelty, not “family conflict”. The hardest (and smartest) question is exactly the one you asked: When do I name it — and when do I disengage? Below is a clear decision framework used in trauma-informed legal and clinical work. The golden rule (read this first)… Read More The golden rule

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What is the definition of cruelty when it is abuse?

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

Plain-language definition Cruelty is abuse when someone deliberately or repeatedly causes suffering, distress, or harm in order to control, punish, dominate, or diminish another person. The key elements are: Intent or reckless disregard Power imbalance Suffering as a by-product or a tool Pattern, not a one-off mistake Clear definition (psychological + legal overlap) Cruelty in… Read More What is the definition of cruelty when it is abuse?

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ENTITLEMENT vs ATTRACTION CHEMISTRY (Early-Stage Comparison)

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

INITIAL FEEL Entitlement Intensity with pressure Feels consuming, urgent, slightly destabilising You feel chosen but also subtly managed Attraction Chemistry Intensity with curiosity Feels energising, playful, expansive You feel interested, not claimed PACE Entitlement Pushes for speed (time, intimacy, access) Resists natural pacing or pauses Urgency framed as “connection” Attraction Chemistry Comfortable with rhythm Lets things unfold Excitement… Read More ENTITLEMENT vs ATTRACTION CHEMISTRY (Early-Stage Comparison)

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